Finding the Guardian of Your Soul

GITRMM ep 31: What Taking 100% Personal Responsibility in Your Relationship REALLY Looks Like

Episode Summary

Get ready! This is a big one! Lisa and Benjamin share one of their secret ingredients that has made their relationship so successful- Taking 100% personal responsibility for your own actions and emotions. They break it down in super easy terms - what taking personal responsibility looks like, what it’s not, and why it doesn’t mean that you don’t react or feel your emotions. In fact, when two people take personal responsibility, you can really see each other and share your feelings on a deeper level, building more trust and a stronger foundation of friendship. You’ll learn how to start small and take personal responsibility for your OWN actions and stay in your own lane, while not taking things too personally.

Episode Notes

What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

• Why would Lisa do away with the therapeutic model of dating? 
• What does it mean to take 100% personal responsibility in your relationship? 
• Taking personal responsibility does NOT mean enduring any type of abuse. 
• Lisa and Benjamin talk about the ways they “process” without the long and draining hours of actual processing in their relationship, and how it makes things feel lighter, adding to their level of connection rather than adding blame or shame. 
• What is the first step to taking personal responsibility? 
• Most people’s actions are usually about them, rather than about us. How can we take responsibility for ourselves by having empathy for others? 
• Taking 100% responsibility means just that! Not 80%, 50%, or anything in between.
• Lisa and Benjamin walk us through what it looks like to be nonreactive to what comes our way and instead observe how we feel and diffuse the situation. 
• Sometimes it takes just ONE person to change the entire dynamic of a relationship.
• Even in what seems like an impossible relationship, it may not take much to turn it around once people start to feel heard and seen. 

Continue On Your Journey

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Email the podcast at: podcast@lisashield.com

Mentioned:

don Miguel Ruiz 

The Mastery of Love 

How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It 

Quotes

• “If we can see underneath those levels of irritation and bad behavior and see an innocence of what people are really asking for, that helps to keep us in the present moment and really see our partner.” - Benjamin
• “So instead of being the victim, we can be in charge of our thoughts, feelings, actions, words, and our relationship.” - Benjamin 
• “Blaming and complaining aren’t clean forms of communication.” - Benjamin 
• “Even in what seems like an impossible relationship, it may not take much to turn it around.” - Benjamin