Finding the Guardian of Your Soul

How to Become More Receptive, and Bring Out the Best in Men!

Episode Summary

In this enlightening episode of "Finding the Guardian of Your Soul," Lisa Shield takes us on a soulful journey toward deep connection and receptivity. Today's discussion is a compelling dive into the art of becoming more receptive and unlocking the best in men. In our modern world, corporate businesswomen often have high expectations and a stringent checklist for their ideal partner, driven by past relationships and preconceived notions. Lisa challenges this narrative by sharing her own powerful story of receptivity with her husband. Lisa recounts how she was able to open her heart despite initial apprehensions, building an incredible bond that defied her own standards. Her story delves into the concerns many women face: guarding their hearts, lacking patience, or fearing vulnerability – all obstacles that hinder the path to genuine connection. As a guide to women, Lisa emphasizes the pressing need to be emotionally available and thoughtful communicators. She discusses the unique emotional landscapes of men, shaped by hardships and stereotypes, and how women can approach them with a nurturing and understanding touch. Expect to uncover transformative insights on self-reflection, mature responses to unworthy partners, and the power of clear, compassionate requests. This episode is not just a conversation; it's an invitation to dismantle your barriers and be open to the wonders of dating, relationships, and the emotional expanses within. Continue On Your Journey: Lisa Shield | YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call With Lisa Email the podcast at: podcast@lisashield.com

Episode Notes

What You'll Hear In This Episode:

- The role of receptivity in fostering healthy relationships between men and women

- The connection between a woman's openness and bringing out the best in men

- The story of Lisa’s initial reservations about her now-husband

- The positive outcomes of being receptive to someone who didn't meet her list of standards

- How continuous busyness and lack of time affect women's ability to be open to men

- The fear of vulnerability and admitting a need for partnership

- Men's experiences, fears, and sensitivities often neglected

- The influence of parental relationships on men's attitudes

- The necessity for kind, thoughtful communication that is free from shaming

- Identifying blind spots that might impede relationship progress

- Importance of effective communication through different life stages

- Examples of displaying openness and warmth on dates

- Encourages seeking help to recognize and overcome dating challenges

- Guidance on being emotionally naked, letting go of baggage for connection

- The role of receptivity in fostering healthy relationships between men and women

- Managing fear of rejection and learning from past relationships

 

Key quotes:

"Many of you pride yourself on going, doing, and keeping yourself busy every second of every day. And it's like a badge of honor for you to be incredibly busy. You don't know how to relax and stop running and rushing through life." — Lisa Shield

“He's not looking to just fit into your life. You both will have to fit into each other's lives and make room for each other. " — Lisa Shield

"So many of us have been burned by men, and when that happens, you don't just get over it. Even going to therapy and sitting and processing, it doesn't mean that when you're in the moment with a man that you really like, you're just able to push all of your hurts and all of your years of disappointment aside and suddenly open up to him. We carry those past experiences into each date." — Lisa Shield

"You're not going to attract the kind of man you truly want unless you can make space and room in your life and heart for him." — Lisa Shield

"You have the most beautiful hearts, and you're capable of loving in extraordinary ways, and you're longing to attract a Guardian of Your Soul. And the problem is that there's all these little blind spots that you don't even know you have." — Lisa Shield

Continue On Your Journey: 

Lisa Shield | YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call With Lisa

Email the podcast at: podcast@lisashield.com

Episode Transcription

Lisa Shield [00:00:03]:

 

Hi. I'm Lisa Shield, and this is finding the guardian of your soul. Today I'm going to talk about unlocking genuine connections, how to become more receptive with men so that you can bring out the best in them. Now, first of all, why is it so important that women are receptive to men? And why will that bring out the best in them? It's a great question. Well, first of all, most corporate business women are not necessarily receptive to men. And there's many, many ways in which we can be receptive. It may be allowing a man to help you. It may be allowing a man into your heart, receiving who he is instead of who you think he should be.

 

Lisa Shield [00:01:02]:

 

There are many, many ways that women could be more receptive to men. Why are we not receptive? Well, there's a lot of reasons why women today aren't very receptive to men. The first thing would be that many of us have very, very high standards. Women in the corporate world who have achieved a lot or in impressive careers, they've achieved a lot. They are used to having the very best of everything. And one of the problems with dating and being receptive is that very often we have these ideas of what we think we want in a partner and how this is supposed to look. We base it on what didn't work in our past relationships. And we also have ideas that we've created about what kind of guy we're looking for, what kind of career he should have, everything about this man.

 

Lisa Shield [00:02:24]:

 

So I'll give you a great example. And if I had not been receptive, believe me, I would not be with my husband right now, the man that I've loved and adored for the last 21 years and counting. So I would have thought at one time that I would be looking for a man who had a certain kind of career, like a titled career, a doctor, a lawyer, but some kind of professional, classic, conventional career, a lawyer, something along those lines, but those very secure, solid, well respected, traditional careers. So that's the first thing. My husband is a body worker. He was trained as a Rolfer for anybody who knows what Rolfing is. And he does body work not on cars, but humans. He will work with chronic pain, migraines, TMJ, back issues, all kinds of stuff.

 

Lisa Shield [00:03:43]:

 

I mean, it's pretty extraordinary what this man can do with just his two bare hands and a little bit of what is it called, lubroderm cream and a table. Again, careers like his have a bad reputation. You think of guys wearing birkenstocks and seeing three or four people a day and calling it a day and not having a very good income. Well, my husband makes more than most doctors. He has an incredible practice. He's extremely well respected, and he usually sees about well, now that he's older and he's cut back on his work, it's very taxing. So now he sees about four people a day, which is what most people in his field will see in a day, in a day, tops. Benjamin used to see eight people a day, and he did very well financially.

 

Lisa Shield [00:05:01]:

 

He didn't have malpractice insurance to pay. He worked out of our home. He didn't have a big staff that he had full of salaries. So benjamin made a really great living. But if I had just seen that he was a body worker, he said on his j day profile that he was in the field of physical therapy, which was very vague. And he's not a physical therapist. He's more like a traditional osteopath, a european osteopath. And so I would have passed up on this man if I had held to these impossibly high artificial standards.

 

Lisa Shield [00:05:47]:

 

Benjamin didn't own his home at the time. He had a lovely home that he was renting, but he didn't own it because he had gotten divorced, and he actually lost his home, the home that he had before he married his wife, or ex wife that he was only married to for two years. He actually lost his home that he had bought and paid for in the divorce to his ex wife. So he didn't have a home of his own. And he also had a much older car. I think his car was about ten years old. It was an acura, and he had bought it brand new, but he had two cars. He actually had an antique car that he loved and spent a lot of money repairing, and he worked out of his home, and so it was fine.

 

Lisa Shield [00:06:45]:

 

He really wasn't driving much. In la. Where your car is part of your status, symbol are part of your status and how people really judge you, all of those factors defied the norms. But when I met benjamin, he was such an incredible human being, and our energy together was just off the charts in ways I'd never felt before. And so it didn't matter. It really didn't matter. But if I had been very fixed in these standards that I was holding for a partner, this never would have worked. Another reason we don't make time for men, or we were not receptive to them, is because of a lack of time.

 

Lisa Shield [00:07:36]:

 

Many of you love you pride yourself on going, going, doing, keeping yourself busy every second of every day. And it's like a badge of honor for you to be going and doing and busy, and, oh, my god, I'm always on the go, and you don't know how to relax. You don't know how to stop running and rushing through life. And most men, they're not interested in operating that way. Yes, they have things they love to do. They may go watch some sports or play sports or go mountain biking or whatever, but they do not rush around the way most women do. And not only are many men not going to feel like they will fit into your life, but they're also going to see that there's something off about somebody who's constantly going and doing and they won't feel like there's room for them. My husband often writes well, he writes the online dating profiles for the women who go through my twelve week emotionally naked dating course.

 

Lisa Shield [00:08:58]:

 

And when he writes those profiles, what happens is he'll say to me all the time, she sounds like a fabulous woman, but if I met her out in the dating world, she's so busy and I'd feel like I would have to fit into her life if I wanted to date her. And a man doesn't want to feel that way. I mean, you both are going to have to fit into each other's lives and make room for each other. But he's not looking to just fit into your life. And if you give him the impression that you're always on the go and that you really don't have any time, it's going to turn a lot of really good men off. Another reason we don't let men in, we're not receptive to them. Well, just like men, we're guarded, we guard our hearts. And because we have so many demands and we're so busy and we have so much going on and our bandwidth is often very short, right? We have a very narrow bandwidth.

 

Lisa Shield [00:10:19]:

 

A lot of very busy, successful women. We just don't have the patience, the tolerance we can be, what do I want to say? Very like, yeah, let's get to the point, let's just do this. And we actually criticize men for not being emotionally available. But that kind of let's get to the point, let's seal the deal. What are we doing here? That very businessy, matter of fact way that many women approach men and dating with doesn't work. And again, it's a turn off. Men come to us because we are the only ones they can share their emotions with. They're certainly not going to do it with their brother or their best friend or their father.

 

Lisa Shield [00:11:17]:

 

I mean, they may say, hey dude, I'm having a hard day. And the other guy will say something like, yeah, I'm really sorry, man, that sucks. And that would be a conversation between almost any two guys and that would be them opening up to each other. So that's kind of how guys think and show compassion. Whereas men come to us because they want to talk to us about what's going on. And if you're really an open, emotionally available woman, men will open up to you. They will, if you know how to do that. If you're receptive.

 

Lisa Shield [00:12:05]:

 

Another issue for a lot of women is the fear of vulnerability, right? Of just being vulnerable, of admitting that you don't have it all together, of admitting that you don't just want a man, but you need a man. Most women are really afraid to open up and be vulnerable and show that they need a man because they're very afraid of seeming needy or desperate or insecure. And I totally get it. We have worked so hard to get to where we are. It is so challenging for us to seem like we might need help or that we would like help with something. And to be vulnerable and really allow a man to be there for us is tough. The holidays are coming up, and I remember one my very first New Year's Eve with my husband. I was rushing around.

 

Lisa Shield [00:13:18]:

 

I had collected the money from a little gift shop I owned. It was quite a bit of cash and checks from all of the sales at our gift store. And I was rushing around, getting myself together to meet Benjamin for dinner that night. And I lost the money. I lost the whole bag with the money. I couldn't find it. And I was panicking because I went over to his house to get dressed when I realized it was gone. And not only was I just devastated because I'd lost all this money, but I was also feeling awful because I didn't want to look like a loser in front of this man that I was trying to impress.

 

Lisa Shield [00:14:08]:

 

What was he going to think? That I was so careless and stupid that I was rushing around and I wasn't careful with the money? It was just a horrible, horrible thing. And I wanted him to see me as a businesswoman and strong and capable. The problem was, I felt so awful that I knew I couldn't just put on a happy face and get through the night and have a good time. I had to tell him what happened. And so when he came in, when he finished work and he came in to get dressed, it was awful. And here's this man that I admire. He's really a man, and he's so masculine, and he just seems like he has every aspect of his life together. And I told him what happened, and he just looked at me so sweetly, and he said, Come lay down on the bed with me.

 

Lisa Shield [00:15:09]:

 

And so we curled up together. He spooned me and he was whispering in my ear, and he said, let me tell you about a time I lost a lot of money. And he proceeded to tell me about how he had given a good friend of his money to invest for him, and that person stole all of his money. And it was a lot more than I had lost that day, but it was just amazing how when I opened up with the right man, he just met me right where I was. Well, I got dressed, and I had a light bulb moment as I was getting dressed, and I thought, oh, my gosh, wait a minute. There's a little secret compartment in my purse that I had totally forgotten about that was inside the lining of the bag. I went into the purse, I unzipped the pouch, and there was my bag full of money and checks. So there you go.

 

Lisa Shield [00:16:21]:

 

It was like the universe playing tricks on me. But when I talk about being receptive so I made myself vulnerable, and I received Benjamin's help. And not only did I receive his help, but I brought out the best in him. By doing that. Can you see that? I brought out his inner hero. He was able to be my hero in that moment and lie down on the bed with me and share that story, get vulnerable with me, and show me what a tender, caring, conscious man he is and was. And so by being vulnerable, I brought out the best in him. By being receptive to his help and being vulnerable, he was able to open up his heart to me.

 

Lisa Shield [00:17:19]:

 

Another reason we're not receptive to men is because of past experiences. So many of us have been burned by men, and when that happens, you don't just get over it. Even going to therapy and sitting and processing, it doesn't mean that when you're in the moment with a man that you really like and you really want to open up to that, you're just able to push all of your hurts and all of your years of disappointment aside and suddenly open up to a new man. It just doesn't work that way. We carry those past experiences. Many of us call them baggage from relationship to relationship, and it really is a process of learning how to get emotionally naked and really open your heart to a man. If these are things that sound great to you, I am going to give you the link right here in the comments. And you can actually just copy and paste that and go over to Lisashield.com and book a breakthrough call with a member of my team so we can show you how we can help you get emotionally naked, how you can really let go of your baggage.

 

Lisa Shield [00:18:48]:

 

Not just sit and talk about letting it go, but let it go. Right? How you can get vulnerable, how you can start to not book yourself, but make room and space in your life for a real man. How to stop guarding your emotions. Right? If you're going to do this, you cannot guard your emotions and how to learn what real standards are in dating healthy standards, the real things that you should be looking for in a partner. This is what we show you how to do. You're not going to attract the kind of man you truly want unless you can make space and room in your life and your heart for him. And if you're busy, if you carry around that corporate mindset, if you're wanting to just get things handled and find out, well, what are we doing here? And it doesn't work. Men come to us because we offer them something they cannot get from other men.

 

Lisa Shield [00:20:14]:

 

We have the ability to bring these men into their hearts. And you can be the most beautiful, successful woman on the planet. But if you do not know how to receive men, how to be receptive to men, this is never going to happen. It is not going to happen. So this is what we teach you in my twelve week course and being receptive. It's funny, my husband was saying to me that receptivity isn't even just the things I'm talking about here. It's also being receptive sexually. And that's another one.

 

Lisa Shield [00:21:01]:

 

A lot of women can jump into bed with men and be very masculine about their approach to sex. Well if they can do it, so can I. I have chemistry. They have chemistry. Why shouldn't we? That's not the way to be sexually receptive. That's you being a man, sexually approaching relationship like a man and not a woman. So be very careful. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with casual sex or having sexual relationships with men, but that should come after you establish an emotional connection.

 

Lisa Shield [00:21:50]:

 

And so many women, myself included, I jumped into sexual relationships, sexual connections because I didn't know how to build an emotional connection. And even some of you who say, well, I want to wait to get to know a guy and I'm going to have that talk, I'm going to tell him that I really want us to get to know each other before we have sex. Many of you use that to hold a guy at a distance sexually. But you still don't know how to create the emotional connection. You don't. And it never gets established. You're waiting for it to just happen because you postpone sex and you're spending time together and whatever and he keeps wanting to see you. But if you do not know how to consciously create an emotional connection with a man, all that's going to happen is you use sex.

 

Lisa Shield [00:23:02]:

 

You keep it away so that you can try to feel more secure. Feel like, okay, he keeps coming back. He must be interested. But it doesn't mean that you will establish that emotionally naked connection that you will be receptive to that man and open up your heart and create the kind of connection you've been longing for. So just postponing sex is no guarantee. If you're going to postpone the sex, then you got to learn how to be vulnerable, how to let go of your baggage, how to walk through your fears, how to open your heart to a real man. And most of us do not realize that this is the scariest thing we do in life. There is nothing, maybe the loss of a loved one, but few things hurt as much as being rejected by somebody you truly feel attracted to, that, you know, a romantic partner that you are feeling a real attraction to.

 

Lisa Shield [00:24:32]:

 

Nothing feels worse than being rejected. Having somebody say, well, I'm not feeling the same things as you. And what we really hear is, I don't want what you have to offer, or I want you for sex, but I don't want what you're offering relationship, a life together, a commitment, or to go down that road with somebody, really get connected and then get burned. He cheats, he lies, he breaks it off. He gets bored. It falls apart. Somehow he stays in it, but pulls away. And you blame yourself for that shift in his energy and in the connection.

 

Lisa Shield [00:25:39]:

 

You don't know how to get it back. And you stay in because you don't want to lose this person. But you can feel that he's not into you and he's just wasting your time, and you're allowing him to break your heart. But you can't cut it off. The only way this works is by learning how to connect. So how do you do that? How do you actually become receptive to men? Well, the first thing that you have to understand in order to do this, the very first thing you have to understand is that men want to connect with us just as much as we want to connect with them. And they're afraid. They're afraid of getting their hearts broken.

 

Lisa Shield [00:26:37]:

 

They're afraid of rejection. They're afraid of looking like fools. They're afraid of being shamed by women. I think sometimes we don't realize how sensitive men are because there's so many false male stereotypes where we think, well, men are tough, and being masculine means that they're not emotional. We want them to be vulnerable and share their emotions with us. But at the same time, many women think that men are tough and they don't need to be complimented and that being a masculine man means you're above it. So we have a lot of weird misconceptions and double standards regarding men. And so the first thing is to start to really look at men as human beings just like us, with feelings and fears and blocks and walls around their hearts, just like us.

 

Lisa Shield [00:27:50]:

 

There are many, many men who, just like we, didn't have good relationships with our fathers, or some of us may have had fathers who were disappointments and didn't really model good male behavior. There are men who had mothers who didn't model good female behavior. They were manipulative with their sons. They were mean. They treated them poorly, looked down on them. Imagine being a man or a boy growing up with a mother who wasn't a good example to him. And so that forms his idea of what women are like. I mean, just think about that.

 

Lisa Shield [00:28:44]:

 

It's crazy. I think about my brother and my mom. She wasn't a great role model for him. She was an emotional mess. My parents divorce was a nightmare. My brother, from his perspective, she was a victim. She yelled, she screamed. She took her emotions out on my brother and me.

 

Lisa Shield [00:29:17]:

 

But I don't think, well, now that I'm thinking about it, she was a terrible example for him as a mother and a woman. So men get this too, and it's just as real for them as it is for us. And for many of these men to actually meet a woman and understand her, know what she's thinking, be able to interpret the way women talk, how we can be very cryptic or very confusing to men when we ask for something, because most women are not direct. We're either really bossy and demanding and masculine in our directness or we're very vague and manipulative and we play guessing games and mind games with men and it's very confusing to them because a lot of men want to make us happy. If a man is attracted to you for more than just sex, if he is an emotionally mature man and he really is interested in getting to know you, which there are plenty of men who are, they really value. Women who know how to ask for what they want from men in a way that isn't bitchy or demanding or condescending, but is kind and thoughtful and open. So you have to start to understand men. That is the first step.

 

Lisa Shield [00:31:14]:

 

How they think, how to talk to them, how to ask for what you want from them. Even if you think you're being crystal clear, if men are not really giving you what you want, you're probably not asking in a kind but feminine way or kind and feminine way. So I don't care what you think you're doing or not doing. If you are not getting the results with men that you truly want, I'm just going to tell you there is so much you can learn. So much. And don't think just because you think you're doing it right or you're listening to your other single girlfriends who do not have healthy relationships with men or don't have guys of their own and are not being successful at this, then I guarantee you there's a lot you're missing out. There are just some probably very logical, practical mistakes. You're making things that if you worked with us so you can go to Lisashield comReserve it's in the comments, you'll find the link there.

 

Lisa Shield [00:32:33]:

 

But we can help you fix this stuff. And I guarantee you, if you're making these mistakes, you're wasting your time because you're going out on dates with men. You're telling yourself, well, I'm such a catch and I'm so loving and I'll make a great girlfriend and whatever. But in the meantime, there are all these little things that you're saying and doing it's the way you say it, it's the way you do it that just we don't see ourselves objectively. And so women, without knowing it, without ever meaning to most of you have great hearts. That's the thing that's so frustrating about this. You have the most beautiful hearts and you're capable of loving in extraordinary ways and you're longing to do this. And the problem is that there's all these little blind spots that you just don't even know you have.

 

Lisa Shield [00:33:44]:

 

I mean, I'm talking from experience. I'm talking to you as you right. We have these blind spots, and we don't even realize that we're saying things in a way that shames men, and we don't even want to be doing it. That's the sad part. We don't even want to be shaming them or pushing them away, but we are, because there's all these little things we don't know. We cannot begin to imagine how easily men feel shame because in many, many ways, they're like these little boys that are and I don't say this in a demeaning way. I say this with love. Inside of every man is just this beautiful.

 

Lisa Shield [00:34:42]:

 

Well, inside of most men, there really is a little boy who just wants to make his mom or his girlfriend happy. And these men are trying some of them so hard to please us. They want to. And you have to start to understand that that's who they are and how happy it makes them when we're appreciative, when we say thank you, when we tell them that they're our heroes. I mean, a man's heart swells inside when women say those things. And a lot of us feel, god, that's ridiculous. I don't want to have to tell some guy, he's my hero. Like, please, I felt that way.

 

Lisa Shield [00:35:49]:

 

But the truth is that just like, I love it when my husband tells me how beautiful, you know, or calls me sweetheart. I love it. And once you get to that place where you really realize when a man hears you're my hero, it's like he feels like Superman and what a good feeling it is in your heart to be able to say that. So being receptive to men also means being receptive to the fact that they are different from us. They're not the same. If you tell a man you feel disappointed by something he did, it'll crush him. He will feel overwhelming shame. And I know that must be really impossible for most women to wrap their brains around, but here's this little boy that just wants to impress you and get things right.

 

Lisa Shield [00:37:07]:

 

And you tell him that you feel disappointed. He feels like a failure, like he failed in your eyes, the eyes of the woman he loves and wants to impress. Now, I know sometimes a lot of you are saying, well, he should try harder. I get it. If you're with a man and he's constantly letting you down and you are constantly feeling disappointed, then he might not be the right guy for you. He just may really be trying, and he may really care about you. But look, these guys lives are a mess, too. They don't budget their time.

 

Lisa Shield [00:37:53]:

 

They got stuff going on as well. They may be having difficulties at work and trying to date you, but deal with family issues and who knows what's going on in that guy's life. But if a guy keeps letting you down or whatever, it's not about taking him to task over that. It's just about being a mature grown woman and realizing that he doesn't have his life together enough to be your partner and moving on from that, right? So that you can find a guy who does. But it's funny, so many of the men that wind up with my clients or former clients, they will say when I interview them that my female client, one of the things he loved about her. And I hear this over and over again. One of the things that made me fell in love with her is that she wasn't afraid to ask for what she wanted and it was the way she asked for it that was wonderful. That's what they say to me.

 

Lisa Shield [00:39:15]:

 

So it took me a long time. I hope some of you who are much younger and listening will think about I wish I had learned so many of these things earlier in life. Because it wasn't a question of can we learn them? It's just when do you learn it? Do you wait until you're in your sixty s to go, whoops, I think I better take a course in how to find a partner because I'm not doing very well. Or do you do this when you're in your 30s? We can stop. It's like taking a class. You can stop at any time in your life and do this work. But it's work that most of us really do need to do because men aren't like us. And in order for we need a man to accept us for who we are.

 

Lisa Shield [00:40:17]:

 

And at the same time we have to know and accept men for who they are. That's such a big part of being receptive to men. Just like we want men who are receptive to us. So you have to learn about men who they are. And then you have to start to walk through your fears. So you really do have to pay attention and build awareness around where your walls and your blocks are and the behaviors that kick in when you get scared, right? You have to start to feel where that fear is in your body. Very often when we feel fear or when we the first place we feel it is in our physical bodies. It's not even a conscious thought.

 

Lisa Shield [00:41:17]:

 

It can often be just this fear. And then we have the thought sometimes it's the other way around. But when you're dating and you're opening up your heart to a man, oh my God, and you want this guy to really like you because it's been a long freaking time since you've met someone you like. A lot of you can put on an act or you can pretend to open up to a man and oh, you have a list of questions or you have some ways that you tactics that you. Get men to open, you know, that you use to get men open up to open up to you. I think there are very few women who really know how to connect with men, like really connect with them, and not just because they're beautiful, but because they know how to really connect with the minds and the hearts of men. I know so few women who really do that well, who really do it well. And to do it requires a certain level of compassion and caring and selflessness, genuine selfless interest in getting to know somebody, to be on a date and not be sitting there checking all the stuff off your list if you're going on a date.

 

Lisa Shield [00:43:11]:

 

I mean, really think about this. I know a lot of you don't want to waste your time. I know a lot of you are like, I just want to find my guy. I'm ready, where is he? But look, the truth is, to find your guy, you may have to go on some dates. There may be things you don't even know. You may think you're awesome at this, but you need to open up to maybe there's a lot you could really learn, a lot of your power that you can gain back in this area of your life in almost any date you go on. I actually talked to one of my mastermind clients today. She's amazing.

 

Lisa Shield [00:43:53]:

 

And she was telling know, Lisa, I went through this breakup with this man, and it was devastating. It really hurt. And my friends were all like, you need to get tough and you need to get mad. And she was like, no, I wanted to be loving and open. And of course there were things I could have gotten mad about, but that's not who I want to be. And she said, that's why I love working with you and love your approach so much because it's so heartfelt. So you can go on these dates and you can open up and learn how to be more receptive to men. In fact, one of the things I told myself when I was dating was that there are as many versions of what it means to be a man as there are men on this planet.

 

Lisa Shield [00:44:56]:

 

Every man walking the face of this earth is a different definition of a man. Some are shy, insecure, some are arrogant. Some are emotionally unavailable, but they're all men. You get to choose the one you connect with. But these are men. I talk to a lot of men, by the way, who are online, and we so underestimate what they go through and yeah, the hot guys and whatever. It's funny. I'll be going through profiles with my clients, and this happened today.

 

Lisa Shield [00:45:43]:

 

And there will be a guy who has kind hearted, he meets my clients criteria of he needs to be conservative or liberal. He needs to be creative. I don't know, he'll meet the criteria. But then she'll see a conservative handsome guy and she'll cut him slack but not the not so good looking guy who had a lot of her criteria. So it's really interesting how we do that. Anyway, I got way off track. So you can open up to any man on a date and just be receptive to them. And even if somebody isn't wonderful like this client today, she has such a great heart.

 

Lisa Shield [00:46:38]:

 

Oh my goodness. I mean the guy that wins this woman's heart is going to be so lucky. She went on a date with a man and she had doubts about the date to begin with and I mean she drove a good hour, they met halfway, she drove a good hour and they met in a larger city because there was more to do there. But she agreed and she said this guy was just a little bit socially awkward and he wasn't anywhere near. I mean this woman is sharp, she's on the ball, she's hot, she's cute as can be and little tiny thing and they were in different places in life, different vibrations, whatever you want to call it. But she was so sweet about know she said, Lisa, he paid for dinner, he drove to meet me. And yeah, he was socially awkward but it was sweet. And so she walked away.

 

Lisa Shield [00:47:53]:

 

It wasn't a great date, but she walked away with love in her heart and she was receptive. That's what showed up. And I promise you that the kind of love and grace and receptivity this client is showing. Oh my God, some man is going to meet her and he is going to hit the jackpot and all of these little dates and these experiences are showing her what kind of heart she has. Isn't that lovely? How receptive, how open hearted to whoever shows up on that date, not saying, well my time is so valuable and why did that was a waste of time. No, he showed up, they had a pleasant time, he paid for her dinner and you just never know. So that is a woman who's open and receptive and these are the choices. Like I hear in her mindset that this is who she's choosing to be and that she's really kind to man.

 

Lisa Shield [00:49:20]:

 

She's a kind kind, an extremely bright and on the ball woman, but she chooses kindness and love and an open heart and that's genuine receptivity. And when somebody shows up that way it can't help but bring out the best in the person across from them. So if you want to learn more, if you want to find what I call the guardian of your soul and stop wasting time, I mean look, you are fabulous. You have worked so damn hard to get to where you are and yes, you do deserve to have love, to have a man who cherishes and adores you and who will be your hero, a man who's on your level, who you're proud to walk into a room with. You deserve that. But that doesn't mean there aren't blind spots in how you're dating. So let us help you fix that so you can have your dream. Please go to lisashield.

 

Lisa Shield [00:50:39]:

 

comReserve. Sign up for your breakthrough call. It'll be the best hour of your life you've ever spent. And at the end of that call, we'll show you how we can help you see your blind spots and attract the guardian of your soul. Please come back and see me again. And if you have suggestions for topics for future podcasts, please send them to podcast@lisashield.com. I'm Lisashield. You can watch me on this channel.

 

Lisa Shield [00:51:16]:

 

You can also see my broadcast that I do probably about twice a month with my husband called getting inside the Right Male mind. You get to meet him and kind of see a little bit of our dynamic, our connection, and you get to hear, really peek inside a great, wonderful male mind. Like, Benjamin has a beautiful, beautiful mind. And I created that podcast so I could share it with you. All right, everybody. Enjoy the rest of your day, and I will see you next time.