On today's episode of 'Finding the Guardian of Your Soul,' Lisa delves into the exceptional insights from her live five-day master class, "Land a Man on Your Level." Lisa, renowned for her expertise and the celebrated Emotionally Naked Dating course, joins forces with her partner Benjamin to craft online dating profiles that resonate deeply with clients, as evidenced by glowing testimonials and successful love matches.
This master class is a life-changing journey for anyone seeking to find true connection and emotional intimacy. Lisa unveils the art of constructing authentic, positive online dating profiles that stand out while stressing the value of steering clear of negativity. Her unique approach goes beyond surface-level tips; it's about transformative personal growth and the proactive pursuit of love.
Listeners will gain wisdom on breaking free from past patterns, reinventing personal dating dynamics, and the subtle communication techniques that foster a profound bond with prospective partners. Lisa's emphasis on authenticity, understanding the male psyche, and harmonizing feminine and masculine energies promises a fresh perspective on attracting a partner who is truly on your level.
We invite you to tune in as Lisa guides us through her methodology, including enlightening exercises and the delicate balance between strength and femininity in dating. This episode is a must-hear for anyone ready to invest in themselves, change their love paradigm, and discover the soulful, lasting relationship they deserve.
Embracing Personal Growth in Dating: "We approach dating as a spiritual path of personal growth and transformation, not as just a means to an end."
— Lisa Shield [00:03:50 → 00:03:59]
Lisa Shield [00:00:04]:
All right, everybody. Hello. Hello. Sorry I'm a few minutes late here. I am so excited to be here.
Lisa Shield [00:00:17]:
We have been here at Lisa Shield coaching.
Lisa Shield [00:00:24]:
We have been hosting our very first live five day master class called land a man on your level. And it has been absolutely incredible. If you haven't signed up for it, you really should because we're still very much in the throes of it. So land a man on your level. Five days to uncovering the keys to attracting your ideal partner. We just completed day four. We will gladly send you all of the replays. Day five is coming up, but don't think that's all.
Lisa Shield [00:01:09]:
We also have more things planned for you over the weekend and we will be doing some bonus sessions on Monday and Tuesday. In fact, my husband and I will be doing a live Q and A on Monday together. So we would love to have you there for that. And I will be doing a private Q and A on Saturday with just me. So we would love for you to join us. And the way to do that is you go to master. Here, I'll put it in the chat for everybody. It's lisashield.com masterclass.
Lisa Shield [00:01:54]:
And you really do want to come on this live masterclass. The attendance, the participation, everything about it has been wonderful. And also, the other thing that we have for everybody, if you would like, is we have a wonderful Facebook group. And this Facebook group, it's been around for a little while, but I think that you all, we are really getting it going. And again, the activity and the participation in the Facebook group has been amazing. It's called finding the guardian of your soul. So we are very excited about that. I am going to put this in the chat as well, the link to that group.
Lisa Shield [00:02:49]:
So please hop over there and join finding the guardian of your soul, our Facebook group, for the master class. So let's talk about what we've been doing over there in this amazing free five day session. So session number one was called freeing yourself from your past so you can step into a whole new world of dating. Freeing yourself from your past so you can step in to a whole new world of dating. And that was day one. It was quite remarkable. What we did was we talked about the three reasons why our approach is different. Why is ENT emotionally naked dating different from other courses and programs that are out there? So the first thing we talked about is that we approach dating as a spiritual path of personal growth and transformation, not as just a means to an end.
Lisa Shield [00:04:00]:
We look at dating as a way of growing and evolving yourself, so that when you do meet the guardian of your soul, you're ready. And then the second thing that's so unique about our programs is that it is completely authentic. This is a purely authentic approach to opening your heart and attracting a guardian of your soul. There are no strategies for how to hook a man's attention. If you are going to attract true and unconditional love, it has to come from the heart. And then the third thing is we focus on the idea that information is not transformation. Information is not transformation. So our step by step process to finding a man or landing a man on your level, what we do is we marry ideas and action, right? Information in and of itself does not lead to transformation.
Lisa Shield [00:05:01]:
You may have epiphanies and breakthroughs, but you've got to get out there and actually put these new ideas into practice in order to attract the guardian of your soul. So we really encourage a proactive approach to learning and implementing that learning immediately so you can get the result. And then we talked about how do you free yourself from the past? Look, we all have baggage, and that baggage keeps us stuck when we lug that baggage from relationship to relationship. Or we sit in therapy forever, processing and processing and going back into the past. And all it doesn't move us forward. And what we do is we just keep developing more stories and more tales, reasons for why we are where we are, but it doesn't move us forward. And even if it is a part of your identity, you'll never be able to open your heart unless you let these old stories and beliefs go. So therapy tends to go backwards.
Lisa Shield [00:06:19]:
It takes you into the past. Coaching moves you forward. That's why I became a coach. I did not want to keep focusing on the past. Once I figured out why I did the things I did, I wanted to just move forward and into a new reality. Okay, so my parents did X, Y and Z, and that's why I have these issues. But I wanted to be done with those issues. And that's what coaching does.
Lisa Shield [00:06:50]:
It moves us forward. So in our course, how do we help you let go of the past? We have very wonderful techniques and processes for doing that. So the first thing that we do is we introduce you to frenemies, adolescence, and naked daters. These are the three voices in your head that are keeping you stuck. And most people are listening to their frenemy. Your frenemy is the voice of fear. Your naked dater is the voice of love. And your adolescent is that little 15 year old teenage kid that's basically still doing most of your dating that's stuck in the middle between those two voices.
Lisa Shield [00:07:37]:
And what we teach our clients is you have to start to identify when the frenemy is speaking and when the naked dater is speaking. And you need to stop listening to the frenemy and start tuning into your naked data. So then, in order to identify those voices, we had everybody do an exercise called the switching hands. And the switching hands is a brilliant exercise. It's a form of Gestalt, where you have two voices speaking to each other. In Gestalt therapy, or in a gestalt, you would have two chairs. You would be your mother, and you would be you, or you could be an inanimate object or your dad or whatever, and you. And then you could switch chairs, and you would speak with both of those different voices.
Lisa Shield [00:08:38]:
And then there's a part of you that it's transformational to be able to hear yourself speaking from both roles. Well, in our program, we do this by switching hands, by using one hand to be the frenemy and one hand to be the naked data. Your naked data is your dominant hand, and your frenemy is your nondominant hand. And you switch back and forth between these voices. And it's very powerful because it's very awkward to write with your nondominant hand unless you're ambidextrous. So we can't help those ambidextrous people. Then we did a wonderful exercise. We had everybody identify one limiting or negative belief about why they were undatable.
Lisa Shield [00:09:34]:
And then we had them do a switching hands technique to start to uncover that pattern and then start to let it go. So it was very powerful. And then the next day was about reinventing yourself to attract a man on your level. So this day two was all about, how do I reinvent myself? How do I go out into the dating world and not lug all that old baggage with me? So what we did was we talked about how you're not your resume, right? Men today expect women to be accomplished and independent and self sufficient. But your success doesn't translate into success with men, right? It's a wonderful quality to have, and men do not. Good men don't want women that they feel they have to rescue. But that is not going to make a man have romantic feelings for you. So the first thing we did was we identified your blind spots.
Lisa Shield [00:10:52]:
All the things you don't know, you don't know that you keep doing the patterns that keep repeating. So we had everybody pick a pattern that they are repeating, they would say, I attract men who have terrible relationship with money, who are emotionally unavailable, who are mean, who are avoidant, who are narcissistic, who are abusive, who are addicts.
Lisa Shield [00:11:20]:
And then they asked themselves, what do.
Lisa Shield [00:11:26]:
I get out of attracting men like that? Because they're not just doing it, there's a payoff. They get something out of it. What do I want to attract? And what do I have to change in me to attract a man like that? So this is an exercise about identifying patterns, acknowledging what you got out of settling for that, putting up with it more than once, and then looking at what you do want to attract, and then being willing to shift something inside of you so that you can change the dynamic and attract a man like that.
Lisa Shield [00:12:16]:
So then after that, we looked at profiles.
Lisa Shield [00:12:22]:
And this is a big part of reinventing yourself. Now, in my course, emotionally naked dating, my husband writes the online dating profiles for the women. And if you really want to see a beautiful example of one of Benjamin's profiles, you can hop over to lisashield.com. I will put this in the chat. You would go to lisashield.com profiles, I do believe. And if you go to that web page, you will find a sample profile by my husband, Benjamin, and you'll see why these profiles are so amazing. So I'm going to put that in the chat right now for everybody. You will see why people call my husband the profile whisperer.
Lisa Shield [00:13:24]:
They're really incredible profiles. In fact, I want to read you a little comment that we got today that just came across my desk today from my husband about a profile that he just wrote for our client. So this came this morning. Dear Benjamin, tears came to my eyes while reading my profile. I feel it will help my dreams become a reality. Thank you so much for this very well written profile. I just love it. Best regards, France.
Lisa Shield [00:14:03]:
So that's just one of hundreds and hundreds of testimonials that we have from the women about their profiles. And so Benjamin writes these beautiful profiles for the women. And I want you to hear this other post that was put into our Facebook group. This was posted yesterday. One of the women wrote, steve entered my life right after my profile went live. His initial message to me was simply that my profile was the only honest and emotionally aware one that he had seen in his dating journey. And if nothing else, he needed to let me know that as I got to know him, I could tell why that struck him. He had been broken in his divorce.
Lisa Shield [00:15:02]:
This isn't to trash his ex, but more to say that she had broken him down and he had lost who he was in his marriage. Trying to appease her and navigating on eggshells with someone who belittled him and the efforts he made at maintaining the relationship. He had spent the three years rebuilding himself to be healthy for a new relationship and a year of superficial dating that was not fulfilling what he wanted or needed. Steve needed someone to communicate clearly and honestly. He needed someone to be emotionally naked and address him with respect as a man. And that's what he saw in her profile.
Lisa Shield [00:15:50]:
So.
Lisa Shield [00:15:53]:
We looked at the five things you should never put in a profile, and we looked at five things you should put in a profile. So the first thing that you should put in your profile is you should be honest and upfront and don't bury the lead. If you are looking for a husband and the father of your children, you need to say that right up front. And I know a lot of you are, like, gasping at the thought of that, but if you don't, if you bury the lead, what you're really doing is kidding yourself and you're going to attract a bunch of men that you're going to wind up having to weed through or even waste time going on dates with when what you really want is a man who knows what he wants, just like Steve. So you would say, I'm looking for my future partner, my soulmate, someone to feel safe and secure with and have a loving, intimate relationship. And that would be an opening line that Benjamin would write for one of our women. You also want to be positive. So you want to use words like, I'm optimistic, I'm appreciative, I'm grateful, I'm drama free.
Lisa Shield [00:17:13]:
You want to use phrases like I love to laugh. You want to use phrases like, I.
Lisa Shield [00:17:21]:
Don'T take myself too seriously, and you.
Lisa Shield [00:17:25]:
Want to be descriptive. You want to paint a picture in his and create a feeling of sensuality. So you might say something like, I luxuriate in sharing quiet moments together. I love new experiences and adventures. The warmth of the sun on my face, the smell of espresso in the morning, the sound of the rain at night. Cool, clean sheets, gazing at the ocean, having time stand still. Words like luxuriate, charmed, mystical experience, sensual, soft.
Lisa Shield [00:18:17]:
All of those words paint a picture.
Lisa Shield [00:18:20]:
In a man's mind and make him want to get to know you. So let's talk about five things never to put in your profile.
Lisa Shield [00:18:31]:
I'm independent.
Lisa Shield [00:18:33]:
Never say anything negative like, do not message me if men, by and large, are not spontaneous. So many mature, grown ass adult men do not like phrases like dancing in the kitchen. You may find that very romantic, but it will turn off.
Lisa Shield [00:18:59]:
Some men, they feel something like, that sounds immature.
Lisa Shield [00:19:04]:
Maybe a guy will wrap his arms around you and dance in the kitchen with you, but a lot of men would feel like that was silly. Do not use the word foodie. It's cliche. Or talk too much about food. Mentioning one favorite food is enough. And the last one is, do not come across as if your life is so full that there's no room for a man in it. Some of you love to talk about how you're multitaskers and you're coming and going, and you think that that is going to impress a man. I promise you, it will turn many men off.
Lisa Shield [00:19:45]:
There are many men who go and do and are very busy. And when they get together with us, what they really want to know is that we know how to relax. So day three was getting emotionally naked with men to create a safe landing for their hearts. And we talked about male female differences and how you get a man to show up and share his heart with you by understanding who men are and being able to meet them where they are. So we have gifts to offer men that they can't get from other men, just like men have gifts to offer women that we cannot get from other women. And you may not love men, but to love a man, you need to love and appreciate men, and that men can feel women who do not love and appreciate them. I once had a client, and I was taking notes for her profile, and I asked her, what do you think about men? And she looked at me and lit up and said, lisa, I love men. I love the smell of a man.
Lisa Shield [00:21:00]:
I love the feel of a man. I love the way men think. I love talking to men. I love how I feel when I'm in the strong arms of a man. She went on and on and on like that, and all I could think was, what man wouldn't be attracted to a woman like that?
Lisa Shield [00:21:24]:
So in order to start to develop.
Lisa Shield [00:21:28]:
These feelings, this openness, and this understanding and appreciation of men, you can't do this in a vacuum. You have to go on dates and practice opening your heart to men. And so to open your heart to men, you have to understand that men and women communicate differently. So let's look at some of that. Men use fewer words than women do. They take way longer to think through their answers. With men, a little is a lot. So women way over.
Lisa Shield [00:22:08]:
We go way too far. There's so much with us and with men, you find it's very little. They say a lot with few words they don't want to process. They're all about values and principles. They want to be respected even more than they want to be loved by a woman.
Lisa Shield [00:22:34]:
They're afraid of rejection, and they don't.
Lisa Shield [00:22:39]:
Share their feelings with other men. So the only place they can open up emotionally is with another woman. Men are very easily shamed. They are trying to make us happy and please us and impress us. And so we have a way of talking to men where we come across as disappointed and shaming and making them feel like they let us down and they're not doing a good job. And so it is very important, if you want a man to open up to you, that you learn how to speak to them in an unshaming way. You would say, I would love it, or, it really turns me on when. Or I so appreciate a man who.
Lisa Shield [00:23:36]:
But you have to learn how to talk to men in an open, loving, non shaming way and not overwhelm them with your words. So today we talked about embracing your feminine nature so that he can bring out his masculine nature. And I started out by talking about how men are not intimidated by strong women. No man who's worth anything would be intimidated by you. And if a man is intimidated by you, he's not the kind of guy you want to go out with. Men are turned off by the fact that you are so powerful and you do not know how to dial it down and be feminine when you're with them. And so even though you look feminine on the outside, they don't get a feminine vibe in the way you're showing up and how you're being and the way you're interacting with them. So they wind up feeling that energetically, you're really, like, going on a date with a man in a woman's body.
Lisa Shield [00:24:56]:
And so women tell themselves, oh, I just want a man who's more masculine than me. But really very masculine women tend to attract very feminine men, or you attract men who are stronger than you. And those would be players and narcissists and men who really don't care, and they just love the chase, and it's a game to them, but they're not interested in having a relationship with you, so all they're interested in is dominating you or getting you into bed, but they don't want to have an emotional connection with you. And so those men are also attracted to very strong masculine women. So in order to begin to connect with good kind, emotionally available men. You have to start to access these feminine traits inside of you. So what I had the women do, and you may want to do this right now. I had the women on the call close their eyes and listen to me read a list of traits.
Lisa Shield [00:26:14]:
So I want you to close your eyes right now, and I'll do this very quickly. I'm going to read this list of traits and I want you to listen to where you go, where you feel these words in your body. Ambition decision making analytical mind breadwinning stoicism independence assertiveness competitiveness authority leadership protection decisiveness.
Lisa Shield [00:26:50]:
Physical prowess problem solving breadwinning dominance responsibility Directness single focused strength chivalrous disciplined loyalty.
Lisa Shield [00:27:12]:
Now, most of you probably would say you felt those in your head. Now I want you to close your eyes and listen to this next group of qualities. Nurturing compassion sensitivity intuition empathy gracefulness gentleness supportiveness patience tenderness affection listening skills caring connection understanding beauty warmth emotional expressiveness subtlety cooperative spirit modesty aesthetic appreciation and processing those you probably felt more in your heart. So many of you are going on dates with that masculine energy, and a man meets you at that level of the mind when what he's looking for is to feel your heart. So I have to run. That was my recap of the first four days. If you want to join us for day five and beyond, please click that link lisashield.com masterclass I would love to see you tomorrow. We're going to talk about investing in yourself so you stop wasting precious time and energy.
Lisa Shield [00:28:51]:
And this will be day five of my master class. It's free. Tell your friends we would love to see you there. I want to help you find the guardian of your soul so that you can have a life that is every bit as joyful as the one I've had with my husband, Benjamin, for the last almost 22 years. So much love to all of you. I will see you next week. I send you so much love and blessings on the journey ahead. And please come join us tomorrow.
Lisa Shield [00:29:29]:
Bye bye and thank you for watching today.