Welcome back to another thrilling episode of Finding the Guardian of Your Soul! I'm your host, Lisa Shield, and today we have a very special guest joining us. Get ready to be captivated by the stunning talent and empowering journey of burlesque dancer, Zia Sandía! In today's episode, Zia takes us on a remarkable ride through her transformation, from ballet folclórico to the captivating world of burlesque. We'll explore her struggles with embracing sensuality, femininity, and self-love, and how burlesque became the sanctuary she had been searching for. Leaving behind the certainties of religion and embracing her artistic nature wasn't easy, but Zia discovered the power of rejecting the need for approval and conditional love. Alongside Zia, we delve into the societal expectations that put pressure on women to prove their worth and the influence of patriarchal figures. We'll explore Zia's personal definition of success and why she believes authenticity and self-acceptance are far more important than external markers. Finally, Zia shares her experiences as a performer and the challenges of evoking sensuality on a grand scale. We'll discuss the stigma surrounding stripping and burlesque, as well as the strength and determination of those who work in the industry. So get ready for an episode filled with empowerment, self-discovery, and the power of embracing your true self. Don't miss out on this exclusive conversation with the incredible Zia Sandía! Let's dive in and find the guardian of our souls together. Continue On Your Journey: Lisa Shield | YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call With Lisa Email the podcast at: podcast@lisashield.com
What You'll Hear In This Episode:
- Zia discovering burlesque and being captivated by its freedom and openness
- Struggling with embracing sensuality, sexuality, and femininity
- Therapy, self-work, and self-love to deconstruct upbringing in a religion
- Her journey defining success based on personal truth and self-acceptance
- Societal expectations and the patriarchy's influence on women's self-worth
- Stripping industry stigma and mistreatment, advocating for better protection and acceptance
- Zia's admiration for strippers' sales skills and work ethic
- Prioritizing performance over seeking male attention
- Embracing and appreciating sensuality and beauty through burlesque
- The importance of self-love, sensuality, and personal exploration
Key quotes:
"In the process of pursuing what I love, it brings a satisfaction and joy of life that I never thought I could have." — Zia Sandía
“When you start learning how to trust yourself, you can take another person’s point of view and think about it, but not let it hurt you." — Zia Sandía
"It sounds like as a woman, it can be incredibly empowering to feel your beauty, your sensuality, instead of feeling that there's something wrong with it. That is an issue for women today…they find their power in their work and their corporate jobs and in all these other things, and they lose sight of who they are as women." — Lisa Shield
"To excite the audience, to pull out sensuality and lure them in on a mass scale was something that was such a challenge to me, like something I didn't ever think I could do." — Zia Sandía
"You have to find the sensuality and the beauty within yourself in order to invoke that to others." — Zia Sandía
"It would be nice if [sex work] were more accepted and if it were more protected... the women could be more protected." — Lisa Shield
'We are taught as women that we are a threat and we need to stay in line. And if we are going to be seen as worth it or worthy to a man, we better learn our place. And that teaches women that they need to offer something more than what they just are to be good enough.'" — Zia Sandía
Continue On Your Journey:
Lisa Shield | YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call With Lisa
Email the podcast at: podcast@lisashield.com
Lisa Shield [00:00:02]:
Hello, everybody, and welcome to finding the guardian of your soul. I am so excited to have a very special guest today, zia Sandia. And I love that name. I can never say it enough times. It is really, like, the best stage name. Zia? Is that your real name? Is Zia your first.
Zia Sandía [00:00:31]:
Name? Yeah.
Lisa Shield [00:00:34]:
I won't go there.
Zia Sandía [00:00:36]:
It's what everybody calls me. It's fine.
Lisa Shield [00:00:39]:
Okay. I'm not going to dispel the illusion. So let me read a little bit about you. Zia Sandia is a dynamic performer from Albuquerque, New Mexico, just up the road from me. Launching her career in Florida, she spent six years mastering diverse entertainment forms like dance, modeling, mermaiding, which we're going to get into, and fire eating rapidly, making a mark in the south. The versatile Zia has since performed globally, captivating audiences with her unique arts. With expertise ranging from fans to fire, she specializes in various dance forms like go, go, ballet folklorico, belly dance, samba, and notably, burlesque. Zia's burlesque acts are diverse, incorporating props, distinct characters and styles, some even featuring singing, generous glitter, or fire.
Lisa Shield [00:01:41]:
For a glimpse of her offerings, you can visit her website. And is that Ziasandia.com?
Zia Sandía [00:01:47]:
Yep. Pretty easy.
Lisa Shield [00:01:49]:
Pretty easy. Zia, it is such a pleasure to have you here.
Zia Sandía [00:01:55]:
Thank you. It is a pleasure to be here. I will say one thing to correct. I have never done ballet in my life.
Lisa Shield [00:02:01]:
Ballet Folklorico.
Zia Sandía [00:02:03]:
Yes. Ballet folklorico is.
Lisa Shield [00:02:08]:
No. It was on two different lines. So we had ballet and then Folklorico on the next line.
Zia Sandía [00:02:15]:
Don't get it twisted. I cannot stand on my toes.
Lisa Shield [00:02:19]:
No. I thought that didn't quite go with the rest of the repertoire.
Zia Sandía [00:02:24]:
Yeah, I wish. I can do some great footwork because of it, but I cannot stand on my toes.
Lisa Shield [00:02:29]:
Well, Zia, it is such a pleasure to have you back. Not back to this broadcast, but we recently did for the women in our upper level courses. We had about 50 women of all ages from all over the world here in Santa Fe, and you came and performed for them, which was.
Zia Sandía [00:02:59]:
So much fun.
Lisa Shield [00:03:01]:
Yeah. And you told me you had a little bit of trepidation, which I didn't know and did not show when you were there. You commanded that room. But let's talk a little bit. Let's roll back the hands of time and let's talk a little bit about your story and why you were feeling trepidation walking into that group of women.
Zia Sandía [00:03:26]:
Well, my story, it's a lot I grew up very religious, so I kind of felt like one of the reasons I was a little bit nervous was based off what I do. I've always kind of received a lot more negative feedback from women who are older than me, based off religion, based off what I was taught. Those are also the ones who growing up, those are the ones who would kind of punish. They were the in between for the father, the head of the household. So older women have always kind of been me a bit intimidated because a lot of times I've received more negative feedback than positive feedback over what I'm doing. And that could be generational trauma, that could be mixed with religion, that could be someone's personal opinion. I try not to take it personally, but you can't help but feel a little like, gosh, I hope this goes right. I hope I'm well received.
Zia Sandía [00:04:27]:
Nobody wants to be shunned or mislabeled or be told that what they do is not valid. So it was nerve wracking, but it was worth it. So I grew up in a religious home. I left at 18, so sorry, the dog wanted to cuddle. Left at 18 and realized that performing is my love and there was not going to be any opinions that were going to stop me from doing what I love to do. And in the process of pursuing what I love, it has fulfilled me in so many other ways that the things I was a part of did not do and brings a satisfaction and joy of life that I never thought I could have. It was great being there because when these women were so kind and welcoming and loved what we did and had a good time and watching them from the start was so different from seeing them at the end. They were also nervous, little uptight, but towards the end, I just really saw them all loosen up and have fun and really let go, because you really have to let go of letting what other people think affect you, because you're not always going to get people's approval, so you have to do it for yourself.
Zia Sandía [00:05:48]:
And I think that they realized that and it kind of snapped from I saw these women just transform to being free and fun and accepting of themselves and who cares what other people think? I'd say this isn't for them, it's for you.
Lisa Shield [00:06:07]:
Women seeing you in front of that audience, right, and you coming in and starting out doing a burlesque number and you seem so confident and like you own the room and they don't really know your story and how you grew up and what it was like. Can you share a little bit more about what that was like and what you have overcome? To be able to walk up in front of an audience and take your clothes off and really command the stage?
Zia Sandía [00:06:50]:
It's taken a lot of therapy, self work, self love, deconstructing of what I was originally taught and rebuilding from there, which is very hard for people when they leave a religion, because you thought you had everything so sure, everything was so sure and it made so much sense, but it didn't. I was always the one to question things and I'd get in trouble for that a lot. But I think I've always kind of been that black sheep art person who had to accept that I wasn't always accepted. So that kind of has helped me over the years to just not care. It's literally about not caring anymore. My religious background could have influenced me, but I've just decided to not care what people think. And I actively remember doing this kind of in my late teens of going, you know what, I have been spent my whole life trying to win people's approval and love and taught love is what's the word? I'm having a brain for conditional. And it shouldn't be.
Zia Sandía [00:08:02]:
It shouldn't be, and it especially shouldn't be for myself as an individual. And that took me years to realize. It took me several years of unpacking. Like I said in my adult life after I had left my home, going to therapy and learning about myself and wondering why I do things the way I do or why I feel things the way I feel, asking oneself why really helps you kind of keep your emotions at bay and grow to believe in yourself and trust yourself to make decisions. I think a lot of that too was at 21, I packed up and left to Florida. I didn't have any family or friends. I just decided I need a change here in Albuquerque. I couldn't do it anymore.
Zia Sandía [00:08:43]:
I was heavily depressed. I had gone through a lot of trauma after leaving my home because I just didn't know anything about the world. I was completely ignorant to so much that there were a lot of predators along the way and I had to learn how to trust myself. And so when you start learning how to trust yourself and yes, you can take opinion, yes, you can take somebody's point of view and think about it, but not letting it influence you to a point where you're letting someone hurt you, it takes work, because you do have to stay humble, but you do have to also trust yourself. And that doesn't mean you're selfish or cocky, even though people may call you that, because you're making decisions for yourself for the first time.
Lisa Shield [00:09:26]:
So how did you fall in love with dance?
Zia Sandía [00:09:29]:
I have been dancing since I was two. It's always been there. I did ballet focal rico from ages of two to about eight. Then I stopped and went back around middle school. My mom started homeschooling me and I needed some sort of socialization, so I did ballet folklorico, literally up until the point I left to Florida. I taught at Albuquerque High for a little bit as an internship. I was teaching mids, I've taught babies. We'd call those like the little ones, the ones where I started.
Zia Sandía [00:10:02]:
And I did ballet focalico for years. It took me to London, it took me all over the world. So I traveled with dance at a young age too. But then I moved away and I didn't have focalytico anymore. And so I actually wandered into a bar and they're like, there's a burlesque show. And I'm like, I don't know what that is. So I paid the COVID and walked in and then saw something that blew my mind, and I walked up to the hostess and I said, Hi, how do I do this? Because this is a dance I've been missing in my life, and I just love how freeing and open it is. And I have been finding that for myself over the years, that it's okay to be free and open and share your art, share who you are, be sensual and be in touch with that sexuality and that femininity, which I really struggled with.
Zia Sandía [00:10:54]:
I wasn't allowed to wear a lot of makeup or things like that, so I was very much a tomboy. So burlesque also got me in tune with more of reaching and in touch with my feminine side. It's not something that I'm easily tapped into.
Lisa Shield [00:11:11]:
And what was it like the first time you went on stage and actually took your clothes off and were standing.
Zia Sandía [00:11:19]:
There not allowed to cuss because, honestly.
Lisa Shield [00:11:22]:
You go for it.
Zia Sandía [00:11:26]:
Shitless. Literally, I was terrified. I was so afraid just to do something that I knew my family found to be so controversial that I wasn't sure I could even do that. I was so worried about the order of my clothes coming off and feeling eyes on me the way because of this new experience. Now, mind you, I hadn't danced in a few years because I took a break when I moved to Florida. Didn't have any form of dance. So just being back on the stage just petrified me because it was not something I was comfortable with, which I had gotten to with. There's no real word for with.
Zia Sandía [00:12:16]:
I have a rule, one drink for nerves. And it was because of those first few times where I didn't and I had a Red Bull and I was pure ball of anxiety. It just took a lot.
Lisa Shield [00:12:29]:
It took courage.
Zia Sandía [00:12:30]:
It took me going, you know what? I'm just going to do it, not care what people think. Just like, I have to train my mind to be so it's scary, but it was worth it.
Lisa Shield [00:12:39]:
And tell me, what is mermaiding?
Zia Sandía [00:12:42]:
Oh, it's pretty popular these days. It's throwing on a tail and swimming in the pool and working at kids parties. Or like, I had a little nephew where I had him on my back and I was swimming like a mermaid and just making someone's day by dressing as a mermaid for a gig or party or opportunity. It could be for ambiance. I've done adult parties and then I've done children's parties where you can do I've done princess Impersonations, too. So it's just a variety of options I offer. And I do love to swim. I've always loved to swim so skill.
Zia Sandía [00:13:23]:
I would like to grow in and having a couple of tails, I can go off mood and be a mermaid every now and then and hit the pool, and you get some strange looks doing that. Like I said, but what else is new?
Lisa Shield [00:13:37]:
Wow. That's wild. So you do that for parties? People hire you to actually do that?
Zia Sandía [00:13:45]:
Yeah, or I just do it for fun sometimes I just want to be a mermaid. Problems about just want to hang out with fish and seashells.
Lisa Shield [00:13:56]:
Mermaid on.
Zia Sandía [00:13:58]:
Exactly. Now you're getting it. Wow.
Lisa Shield [00:14:01]:
And you also do belly dancing and samba and go go.
Zia Sandía [00:14:08]:
I did that more in Florida. I was hired at a Greek restaurant to do belly dancing for them. I was doing a lot of classes for that in samba at the time. I'm a little rusty. I need to go back to do more classes and other things. But I love it. I love all forms of dance. If I can just move, I'm free.
Zia Sandía [00:14:29]:
And it is another language, so I'll try it all. I'm buffet of dance. Let me eat it all.
Lisa Shield [00:14:37]:
That's funny. So you trained in multiple forms of dance and entertainment. What was the most challenging of all the forms and why?
Zia Sandía [00:14:47]:
I would say burlesque.
Lisa Shield [00:14:49]:
Burlesque, burlesque.
Zia Sandía [00:14:52]:
Also, I've been a stripper before, and those two just comes with a lot of weight to them. And it's unfortunate because it shouldn't, but it does. It comes with judgment. But honestly, I was just telling somebody recently, pole dancers are the strongest. They're physically so strong, they can hold their own body weight. They're so talented, they're so skilled, and they work with all kinds of people. I joke. You're not just a stripper, you're a therapist.
Zia Sandía [00:15:28]:
You deal with all kinds of people, situations, things, and you have to be able to navigate it. And they're amazing in sales. I would hire strippers all day if I owned a business because they know how to sell, and they're hard workers. And so there's just so much of the stigma that comes with burlesque and stripping and pole dancing, but they take so much strength, not just physically, but also emotionally. You do get a lot of, like I said, backlash or mistreatment for doing what you do or eyes judgment. It's just there it's because it's always been kind of a taboo thing portrayed in media, but it really shouldn't be because I don't know many people that can do what they do. Yeah.
Lisa Shield [00:16:16]:
I worked once with a young woman, one of the sweetest women I've ever coached, and she got caught up in stripping. She came to La to become an actress, and that's unknown color. Sorry.
Zia Sandía [00:16:32]:
That's okay. I had my dog.
Lisa Shield [00:16:35]:
We'll just that can get edited out, which is oh, I was like, I'll.
Zia Sandía [00:16:41]:
Go get the cat, the coffee. We'll have.
Lisa Shield [00:16:46]:
Know. I had this young woman I coached in Los Angeles, and one of the sweetest women, her name was Know Angel, and she really was an angel, and she got caught up in stripping because she went from a very small town to Los Angeles to act and her acting career didn't take off.
Zia Sandía [00:17:12]:
No, it hardly does.
Lisa Shield [00:17:14]:
Yeah, it rarely does.
Zia Sandía [00:17:16]:
Very hard.
Lisa Shield [00:17:17]:
And she wound up in a relationship with a guy that didn't work and he relied on her to support them and there were drugs involved and this very young, pure, sweet woman found herself in that whole world. And there is, I'm sure you've had experience, a dark side to that world.
Zia Sandía [00:17:43]:
There can be. I would say it's all about the person. Some have a lot of trouble with self control, imbalance. I personally try to balance all of that the best I can because it is there. And I've realized it's not people, it's places that are just certain things that can be what I call high risk for violence. But that is also because people prioritize them.
Lisa Shield [00:18:13]:
Are we going to take care of the dog?
Zia Sandía [00:18:18]:
Come here, Louie. Come here. Shut the doggy door for now because.
Lisa Shield [00:18:27]:
She'S.
Zia Sandía [00:18:30]:
We'Ll get back to let me be quiet. What was I saying? Oh, yeah. There is a dark undertone in that world and you just have to be careful. You have to be good with boundaries, self control. It is very easy to get caught up in that. And it's because it's common in the world around you. It's kind of like you have to just be able to set boundaries. I know I do.
Zia Sandía [00:19:00]:
I don't drink when I'm at work. I'm very aware. I don't judge either. A lot of times people are doing what they feel they need to do and it is no place for me to judge and I would be completely hypocritical to judge. So I believe every life is valid and valuable. Yes. They're in high risk situations or scenarios sometimes and that is why they need more protection. One thing I've always said I like about the club is that there is security.
Zia Sandía [00:19:29]:
So I do still call the shots if somebody is being too aggressive or too harsh. I had to learn, especially in that world, how to say no and put my foot down and be bold. And it's something because it was more of an exercise because I was never taught to do that. I was taught go along with authority, don't question things, trust people. But you have to protect yourself. Being ignorant to the dark side of things is no way to live. In fact, you should learn more about it in order to protect yourself. It's kind of like knowing your enemy.
Zia Sandía [00:20:04]:
So if you have an idea of what you're dealing with, what you're looking for, what to stay away from. I very much pick customers based off energies, like a good exchange energy. This is someone I can talk to. I try talking to them first and if it's just not working, I don't force it. I just walk away. I'm not going to put myself in a situation. I'm not going to stress myself out. And I did it part time so I didn't have to talk to everybody.
Zia Sandía [00:20:34]:
Some people do. So I don't judge. Whatever you need to do, just make sure you're safe. And one thing that I've been lucky enough to have is I work in a place where the girls really look out for each other, and that's not always the case. So if someone is in a bad state or needs a ride home I've given many girls rides home. If somebody needs their hair being held because they drink a little too much, we can't deny it. It is there, but it's not how we look out for each other. And it is interesting that in a world that is surrounded by many men who are supposed to be protectors, the women often protect themselves.
Zia Sandía [00:21:12]:
The performers protect themselves.
Lisa Shield [00:21:13]:
They take care of each other.
Zia Sandía [00:21:14]:
Yes. And it should be that way. And it always has kind of been that way. Even in sex work, they look out for each other, and it's important to do that. It's important to build each other up, not compete and open minded enough to allow people to do what they do.
Lisa Shield [00:21:29]:
And not judge them and protect. I have another client who also was a stripper when she paid her way through college. And she is amazing. She's married to a really incredible man, and, yeah, she's doing great, but she has no qualms. She just is like, yeah, I stripped through college, and one of she referred a client to me, and they took her she and her boyfriend took this woman to a strip club with her, and she was lovely. It's really a shame. It would be nice if it were more accepted and if it were more protected. You know, that that if it were more well received as a part of our culture, you know, the women could be more protected.
Lisa Shield [00:22:26]:
Let's talk about sensuality, because you told me at one point that you didn't feel you had any.
Zia Sandía [00:22:34]:
I've always been an awkward, homeschooled kid, is what I've described myself. I was homeschooled for all of middle school and half of high school, which is prime social developmental years. But regarding sensuality, that was just off the table. We didn't talk about it. I never got a sex ed class. I never understood anything about sensuality. That was just so unheard of, and you just don't do it. That was meant for the husband only at home, private in the bedroom, or not at all.
Zia Sandía [00:23:04]:
So it was very extreme, honestly. One of the reasons I started in burlesque, but one of the reasons I became a stripper was to practice sensuality. Because sensuality on the stage is something you really have to work on, grow to be comfortable with, and harness that energy to give it to the audience. So it was something I struggled with for a long time. I started with a lot of comedy numbers or skills. I was very good at, like, ISIS wings. I had done focal Rico for years. I could do a lot with skirt work, so I would go with what I knew, and I built up to that.
Zia Sandía [00:23:44]:
But when I'd watch performers on stage, because I love watching shows just as much as being a part of them, I can eat it up for days, but I would notice these performers that could just grasp sensuality on the stage and make you feel totally aroused. And you're like 30ft away sitting in a chair, and it's like, whoa, that was awesome. What was that? To excite the audience, to pull out sensuality and lure them in on a mass scale was something that was such a challenge to me, like something I didn't ever think I could do. But I love to challenge myself, and I've always been the type, well, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to learn how to do this. And so I would say it's probably only been the past couple of years where I've developed the ability to be completely sensual on stage and be that raw. And it's taken, like I said, I'm 30, probably 25, 26 years of avoiding that and working on it.
Zia Sandía [00:24:51]:
So there is time you can learn it on a fast mass scale, but it is hard. It's scary. It's scary to be vulnerable, and that's for anybody. We are taught to live in a rigid world where we don't show those soft, sensual sides. And if you can tap into it and not only tap into it for yourself, but share it with others, it's otherworldly, I think, because it's so important once you realize that you have that power and that you have that ability. And then you look around. You in this world that doesn't do that or accept it or it's taboo or it's strange or not welcomed. There's so many words for that.
Zia Sandía [00:25:37]:
Because it's culturally in America. We're very puritanical. So to let out sensuality, we have a whole world of Hollywood and media where that's always on TV and expressed, but then in the world we live in, it's completely not. It's very confusing.
Lisa Shield [00:25:54]:
Well, can you take it from your dance into your real life? Like, do you feel that you're able to do with men? If you meet a guy that you like, are you able to step into that sexuality?
Zia Sandía [00:26:12]:
So I'm pansexual, so I don't really care about gender. I'm very much feelings auras high. I've always been very flirty. That's something I can say about myself is I've always been flirtatious, but never really sensual. And so there is definitely a difference because I like to flirt or make someone laugh. I'm kind of a goober getting comedy numbers, so I've always poked at it. I like to just lean into sensuality with humor almost, I guess you could say, because humor makes the most sense to me. But yeah, I think flirting wise.
Zia Sandía [00:26:55]:
That's how I've always kind of like I'll make a little joke and run away kind of thing. And that's how I've been sensual. When it comes to my personal life on stage, though, I would say they're kind of two different things for me. Some people can harness them. The stage I'm really trying to embody, and it comes down to learning theatrics and really trying to share it amongst the people. And that takes skill and technique. It's not the same as like a one on one. Hey, cutie.
Zia Sandía [00:27:24]:
Patty. My sensuality is being flirting and silly. And if you like that, you're a little more serious. I may not be the one.
Lisa Shield [00:27:42]:
Well, your humor is very alluring. I mean, that is one of the things that you really brought with you to the class, in particular that you did.
Zia Sandía [00:27:54]:
It breaks the ice. It makes people feel relaxed. I've always used humor as a comfort. Even in a bad situation, if going wrong, I'll make a joke about it. I'm like, maybe I was meant to be a stand up comedian in another life and laugh about my pain.
Lisa Shield [00:28:16]:
You saw the women that were there at the workshop or at the retreat, a lot of them came away saying, wow, I really want to take some burlesque classes. I want to explore this more. What do you think about women taking classes and getting more into their bodies and using dance as a way to do that?
Zia Sandía [00:28:42]:
I love it. I love it. That's music to my ears. What you just said to me, because that's why I got into it, is to not feel so in my head, not so rigid, to let go, to explore myself. Burlesque is about the art of the teas. It is about literally encompassing sensuality. Now, the word does mean parody. Burlesque means parody.
Zia Sandía [00:29:04]:
So that's why comedy comes with it. But the point is, there was one act in the 40s where there was a twelve minute glove peel, and it was so sensual, it was so seductive. And it's all about how you touch and feel about your own body. And truly, you have to find the sensuality and the beauty within yourself in order to invoke that to others. So burlesque to me, was a huge exercise in embracing that about myself. So hearing that other women tapped into what that was, that was the point of it. They felt it. They tapped into that thing that says, wow, I can love my body, I can love myself, I can show it off, I can embrace all this, and there's nothing really wrong with it.
Zia Sandía [00:29:56]:
It is for me, it is for my mind, it is for my body, it is for my soul. And it doesn't matter what other people think. This is about finding joy and healing through me. Now, I do try to tell performers who are wanting to perform, if you're doing it for yourself, that's one thing. If you want to use it as an art and a therapy, I get it. But make sure if you're performing, you do the job and do it well. And recognize that it is also a job people are hiring you for. So it's a matter of mixing professionalism and personal.
Zia Sandía [00:30:28]:
Personal comes into the act, the encompassing of that. And then business comes with the performative side.
Lisa Shield [00:30:35]:
And SIA, talk a little bit more about having explored really exploring your sensuality through the burlesque and the dance and how that has affected you as a person. Feeling more beautiful, feeling more sensual because you mentioned earlier that you were depressed, you felt oppressed by your religious upbringing. And explore taking this brave leap and doing this thing that's so taboo. I'm guessing you're a very different person today.
Zia Sandía [00:31:25]:
Oh, yeah, heavily. When you start tapping into that, you start exploring your inner self more. And with that, naturally, comes change. I think it brought to me a lot of growth because as I mentioned before, I had to learn how to trust myself and how to love myself. Trusting myself was one difficulty, but loving myself and being able to share that with others is a whole other thing. And that's what burlesque helped me tap into. Like I said, the fact that they felt that that's kind of the light that starts it. It's like a flame is lit.
Zia Sandía [00:32:06]:
From there it can become a burning fire within you. And that is because you are taking the time to love yourself, explore yourself and grow within yourself. It just happens. Over time, you start realizing some religious people have said like, oh, I've just been kind of brainwashed or my mind has been changed or whatever, to think that that's okay. But honestly, no. It was my own critical thinking that made me realize the body is the soul vessel. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Having sensuality and sexuality is part of the human experience.
Zia Sandía [00:32:48]:
We can't suppress it. It only leads to bad things. We see that over and over. What suppressing sensuality, which is so natural within us, does it hurts people because they just can't handle the oppression. So they take it out or project it onto others. And it's because it's so unnatural. So once you start realizing, wow, I can love myself and I can project this to others and I can be sensual with others, I can be vulnerable while also taking care of my sexual health. It unreal.
Zia Sandía [00:33:21]:
And burlesque plays a part in that because sensuality is a big part of it. Yes. Your own personal journey is one thing, but they tend to mesh together. And when you meet people who've been on other journeys that are different than yours, but have an experience and have the awakening of this is what I love to do, because it helps me to love myself and share this love with others, you just start realizing, I think they have it. Right. They're doing something right, not wrong. And I think I was doing something wrong.
Lisa Shield [00:33:54]:
It sounds like as a woman, it can be incredibly empowering to really feel your beauty, your sensuality, instead of feeling that there's something wrong with it. And I think that that is really an issue for women today, is that they find their power in their work and their corporate jobs and in all these other things, but they lose sight of who they are as women.
Zia Sandía [00:34:30]:
I think that comes with not to sound like cliche, but the patriarchy in many ways. We are taught as women that we are a threat and we need to stay in line. And if we are going to be seen as worth it or worthy to a man, we better learn our place. And that teaches women that they need to offer something more than what they just are to be good enough. And in the process of doing that, yes, we as humans want to be successful. We want to be comfortable. I think we live in a society where work is life, and you lose that humanistic side of you. And I worked a corporate job ten years, so I literally wanted did you really? I quit because I literally told myself, I'm losing empathy.
Zia Sandía [00:35:21]:
I'm losing empathy and I'm losing my sense of self for a paycheck. And it sounds crazy. I just can't do it anymore. I can't do it. This isn't who I am. I care about people. I want to believe in people. And that is that loving, nurturing, feminine side of me that wants to look out for others.
Zia Sandía [00:35:41]:
And to lose that for a paycheck and a corporate suit was not worth it to me. But we're taught in this world that that is success. That is what you need to be a successful person in this world. And to me, a successful person is someone who is living according to their own truth and sense of self and loving themselves. It is not about money or income or status or finances. And that is so ingrained in us and that is taught so much by patriarchal figures that that is what is important, that we want to keep up. As women, since the 70s, we wanted to work, we want to be equals, but that doesn't mean we have to lose ourselves in the process.
Lisa Shield [00:36:23]:
Theo, when you're up on stage, what does it feel like to know that there's all these men in the audience that want to have sex with you?
Zia Sandía [00:36:38]:
Think of it like that curious.
Lisa Shield [00:36:43]:
There's an audience full of men and you're literally up there dancing. Do you just focus on the performance aspect of it and just not think about no, I don't. Staring up at you going, all right.
Zia Sandía [00:37:02]:
Honestly, I don't hate men. But a lot of times in Burlesque, the women in Clientele tend to be women and couples. And yes, I think there is a sexual attraction there for all performers. There are men who come to that too. But many men, if they really want to kind of get that involved, they tend to go to just a strip club. So in many ways, the difference to me between burlesque and stripping is seen more as an art in the burlesque world. Even though stripping is completely an art within itself. I think the reason the clientele and the audience members is because it tends to be more of artsy and theatrical.
Zia Sandía [00:37:45]:
And yes, there's a sensual element to it completely. I really don't think of it that way. I think of, like, what do I want to give out? How do I want to perform? What message do I want to give out there? How do I want to entertain this crowd? Let me look at this crowd. What kind of crowd are they? I'm more down to the sciences of the art form than thinking anything about somebody wants to have sex with me. I get enough male attention to know that they do. Not all of them, because I'm not everybody's type. But men do want that. And I think it's really funny.
Zia Sandía [00:38:21]:
I've really struggled where women like attention from men because I can't relate. I'm like, oh, no, you go ahead and enjoy that over there, because I don't want anything to do with that. It's very hard for me to enjoy it. And I understand that there's chapters in life where maybe one day I will want male attention again. Things happen in a world and in the mind where people change. But I'm usually like, I'm just here to perform, keep it simple. And then people have said, like, oh, let's go home to get I'm like, I am so sweaty and gross, and I need to go change out of this costume and shower, and my makeup is running down. It is not a good time, my friend.
Zia Sandía [00:39:11]:
Not for me, anyway. I have a lot of trouble with that. It's more the art form. Sensuality is a part of it. But my personal life is very separate, I would say.
Lisa Shield [00:39:24]:
Yeah. And burlesque is different than stripping, right? They're two very different things.
Zia Sandía [00:39:30]:
Well, you're getting different experiences. The experiences that's way more intimate, in your face private dances. That tends to be more stripping. Burlesque tends to be on a stage or sometimes you're involved, but it's more entertainment in that sense for like, a bar or a venue. It's a little more light in that sense of sensuality is there. But there's a lot of consent rules. There's an audience. No one's ever doing a private room.
Zia Sandía [00:40:02]:
So that is why it changes. It's just different experiences.
Lisa Shield [00:40:06]:
Well, and one of the things I'm skipping around a little that I loved in the performance that my husband and I went to see was I loved that there were just women of all shapes and sizes. And there was one very large woman who was in from, I think, New York, and she performed.
Zia Sandía [00:40:31]:
She's amazing.
Lisa Shield [00:40:32]:
Yeah. And it was just incredible to see the range of women who are doing this and who feel that's.
Zia Sandía [00:40:43]:
One thing I love about Burlesque, because it's one of the most inclusive art forms where gender and size does not matter. Nor it should. Nor should it. Honestly, my rule is, as a producer, I say, I don't care what you look like. If you can bring it, that's all I care about. Just bring it. Show them up, tell them how it's done. And that comes with self love.
Zia Sandía [00:41:08]:
We're all so different. There's this standard of beauty that has been pushed and ingrained on us with Hollywood, but now it's more accepting than ever, and we're growing and getting better with that. But in Burlesque, it's one of the pioneers for pushing that. And that's what I've always loved about Burlesque, is the inclusivity. And nobody should be looking at color or size. We're people, we're going to come in all different shapes and sizes, just like our personalities, just like our hair color, just like our sensualities. It's all a spectrum. To say you need to look like this has always bothered me.
Zia Sandía [00:41:44]:
And I've even walked away from some jobs where somebody's local, well, I want them to look like this. I'm like, I'm sending you people with skill and talent. And if you think that I need to see what your definition of beauty is in your eyes in order to get you what you're looking for, I think it's better we just walk away from here, because I'm not going to see that. I'm not going to look at people like that. I don't want to look at people like that. You obviously know what you want, so you go get them. I'm not going to go find them for you. It's good.
Lisa Shield [00:42:14]:
I think we're at time, honey. I know we have to end here, but I know this won't be the last time that we meet. And yeah. Is there anything that you want to say just to women last words of encouragement about exploring their sensuality through dance, about loving themselves? Why don't you have the last word here?
Zia Sandía [00:42:47]:
I want to say thank you for having me. It has been, honestly, a joy to work with you in all forms and an honor to be here as a guest. I want to say sorry to the audience because I have ADHD, so I bounced. I apologize if it was a lot today. The other thing I want to just share is something I said in your class is we cannot fill others cups until we fill our own. And that is something a friend told me that has always stuck with me. And if you can learn self love, sensuality, personal, just give yourself a hug. Just really explore you and what you want and what's best for you and not worry about others, you're going to be a lot happier.
Zia Sandía [00:43:35]:
And that's all I would ever want for people, is to be happy. And that's not always a permanent feeling, but it is an overall goal.
Lisa Shield [00:43:46]:
I think, going and taking a class.
Zia Sandía [00:43:50]:
Go take her less. Yeah.
Lisa Shield [00:43:53]:
Because it's so out of women's comfort zones.
Zia Sandía [00:43:58]:
Good out of your comfort zone.
Lisa Shield [00:44:00]:
Yeah. But to be able to actually get up there and have, I'm sure, in the classes that the women are really supportive and it's a lot of fun. And to be able to do something like that must be such a great way to stretch into their sensuality.
Zia Sandía [00:44:24]:
Yes, it is. And when you do take classes, kind of like we did in the class, you're around a lot of other people taking classes, but the class is not for them. It's for you as the individual. So you can take what you want from it, you can learn a lot from it, and you can really grow in your sensuality once you learn to let go, because then you're not having anything hold you back. You're an open field and you can really take those moments to explore and not hold yourself.
Lisa Shield [00:44:56]:
Thank you so much, honey. I'm Lisa shield. Thank you so much for joining us today. And thank you, Zia, for being here. Please come back and see us again. You can send us your suggestions for future podcasts to podcast@lisashield.com. You can also catch my husband and me on our other broadcast, which is getting inside the right male mind. And if you're interested in working with me and finding what I call the guardian of your soul, then please go to lisashield.com.
Lisa Shield [00:45:32]:
Click the button all over my website to view my free 45 minutes presentation. At the end of the presentation, that's where you can book a call with me or a member of my team. We will jump on a call with you and show you how we can help you find true love now. So please don't waste time. Jump on our website and click that button and let us show you how we can help you get this solved. Zia, thank you again. We will see you all again and have a wonderful rest of your day.