Welcome to another enlightening episode of "Finding the Guardian of Your Soul ®"! This week, our hosts Lisa Shield and Kristina dive into Kristina's transformative journey through the world of dating, sparked by her participation in an "emotionally naked dating" program. Kristina shares how the supportive group environment and professional guidance helped her navigate dating with newfound confidence and clarity. Through insightful questions and reflective exercises, she discovered the importance of evaluating potential partners critically and appreciating qualities like emotional openness and affection.
🎙️ Exciting Episode Alert! 🌟
I had the pleasure of sitting down with Kristina Dedekian for the latest episode of "Finding the Guardian of Your Soul ®" titled Dedekian. This episode is packed with insightful reflections and transformative experiences from Kristina's journey in the emotionally naked dating program.
Discover how Kristina leveraged lessons from the program to overcome past relationship challenges and navigate towards a more fulfilling, supportive partnership with her current boyfriend, Jesse. It's a heartwarming story of personal growth and the quest for extraordinary love. 💖
Key Takeaways:
Group Support & Diversity:
Kristina found immense value in the collective support and diverse perspectives of the women she met through the course, which helped her feel uplifted and understood.
Profile Refinement:
Professional photography and thoughtful profile responses played critical roles in attracting higher caliber men, teaching Kristina the importance of first impressions.
Perspective Shift & Personal Growth:
Understanding that some partners won't change allowed Kristina to embrace those who would offer genuine affection and support. This shift, coupled with coaching insights, helped her critically evaluate potential partners and her own dating patterns.
Tune into this inspiring episode to learn how investing in self-growth can pave the way to finding and appreciating true love. 🌟❤️
#Podcast #DatingAdvice #PersonalGrowth #FindingLove #Relationships #SelfDevelopment #WomenSupportWomen #FindingTheGuardianOfYourSoul
Lisa Shield [00:00:00]:
Hello, everybody. I'm Lisa Shield, and I am so pleased to have Kristina Dedekian here today. And she is a director of retail, real estate. Right.
Kristina [00:00:15]:
And marketing.
Lisa Shield [00:00:17]:
And marketing, yes, specifically marketing. And Kristina lives in San Francisco. Her company is based in New York City. But she has the best of both worlds and the best of both coasts. So she is here with us today. Kristina went through emotionally naked dating. When did you do it, Kristina?
Kristina [00:00:38]:
I did it. I guess it was a year and a half ago, maybe. Like, it wasn't. So it was like, yeah, it was 2022 into 2023.
Lisa Shield [00:00:51]:
2022. Okay. And let's talk about. People always love to hear how you found me. How did you discover Lisa Schiele?
Kristina [00:01:04]:
Well, I found you through my cousin, who I'm very close with, that works with you. And she, you know, she was giving. She was just talking about you and everything, and we were having a lot of conversations, and I was. I had gotten out of a long term relationship that wasn't great. And so we had just already been talking about, you know, that kind of thing. And then she was telling me about her job and everything, and she convinced me to give it a try. So that's how I heard about you.
Lisa Shield [00:01:43]:
And she's also. She's one of our biggest fans. She doesn't just work for us, but she is so passionate about the work that we do. She's amazing. I think she may be more passionate about this than I am.
Kristina [00:01:58]:
She's very passionate. And she sold me.
Lisa Shield [00:02:02]:
Yeah, that's wonderful. And tell me about how you felt when you first started the course. What was that like for you?
Kristina [00:02:11]:
So that's a great question. I had. I guess so. It was 22 to 23. I had broken up with my boyfriend of four years in August of that year, and I started the course, and I got, like, overwhelmed because I was also moving apartments and everything. And so I really, like, found myself putting everything on the back burner. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna, like, hold off, hold off. But once I really started investing some time, and especially the first book that I read attached, I was like, oh, like, why haven't I read this before? Like, this is, like, just, you know, perfect.
Kristina [00:02:59]:
And I wish I had done it before. So I guess how I felt starting the course was that it was like a boom. Like, I wish I had known all this or thought about all this, you know?
Lisa Shield [00:03:13]:
Or tell me about your ex boyfriend. What was his attachment style?
Kristina [00:03:19]:
He was an avoidant, and he was. And it's crazy because, you know, so when I met him. I was 38. I hadn't had. I haven't in my life had a lot of serious relationships. I've been single pretty much my entire life. And I met him, and he. We met at the dog park.
Kristina [00:03:42]:
He came up to me, like, to meet my puppy at the time. My dog was, like, eight months old or something at the time, and he brought. He had a young son, and he came up to me, and he was like, hey, I'm Paul. Da da. But he was a very unaffectionate, very closed off. Just, you know, he just made me feel like. So I. Like, I felt like, the insecure, like, to the nth degree with him.
Kristina [00:04:15]:
But I also wanted. And there were things about him that I enjoyed. You know, we had fun together. We were active together. But he gave me absolutely nothing that I really needed. Affection, you know, really that.
Lisa Shield [00:04:34]:
But Kristina, was it on again and off again?
Kristina [00:04:38]:
No, we were pretty much always on. But it was never, like, for example, we didn't really spend the night together that Houghton, in four years.
Lisa Shield [00:04:49]:
Wow.
Kristina [00:04:49]:
Really? Didn't say, like, it was very. I don't know, like, he just wasn't. He didn't care about me that much. I don't think so.
Lisa Shield [00:04:57]:
It was empty, like, you all. It was very empty for something that you couldn't quite get. And it was totally, like.
Kristina [00:05:05]:
And right. And he also. If I ever tried to, I always felt insecure. Even bringing something even slightly emotional up or vulnerable, like, I just felt. I just couldn't. And I think that was a big barrier, too. If I can't be myself, you know, then, like, he's never gonna know me. And so it was just like this.
Kristina [00:05:30]:
A big wall. There was always a wall.
Lisa Shield [00:05:32]:
And so who broke. You broke it off with him?
Kristina [00:05:35]:
Well, so, yes, I did. But how it ended was he. So he has a son, like I said, and I. Him and his ex, who I found out later I thought he was married. He had a kid. He got a woman pregnant when they were, like, in a pretty early part of their relationship. So they weren't even together. Like, he's just not a relationship guy.
Kristina [00:05:56]:
But anyways, Paul and I had been together for several years, and he's like, Heidi, his, you know, baby mama and him decided they were going to move to Colorado because they didn't want to raise their. Their son in the Bay area. And so he's like, are you, like, would you consider coming with me? And I was like, yeah, of course. But then we didn't really ever talk about it again. He was looking for houses. He didn't really include me. I went with him one time to look at houses, but it was just. So anyways, like, I guess I was moving, but I just.
Kristina [00:06:36]:
At the end of the day, when it was, like, time, I was like, I'm not going.
Lisa Shield [00:06:41]:
Wow.
Kristina [00:06:42]:
Yeah.
Lisa Shield [00:06:42]:
So that was a heartbreak. That was really heartbreaking. And, Kristina, how quickly after you broke up with him did you start the program?
Kristina [00:06:53]:
So I think it was all right. So, like, six months.
Lisa Shield [00:06:58]:
So six months. And were you grieving him pretty much those six months?
Kristina [00:07:04]:
I was, and I wasn't. There was something about me that felt a lot of relief. And also, I ended up meeting a few people right away. That kind of just got me over that hump, I guess. Like, for example, one guy that I'd known forever, same thing through my dog. I was telling him we were always friends. He had a girlfriend. Didn't have a girlfriend anymore, but he, like, I was like, oh, Paul.
Kristina [00:07:35]:
And I decided not to go with him. And he was like, well, I've always really liked you. Can I take you out? And I'm like, whoa. So. And then he was cute, but then I'm like, nah. So I had, like, a little buffer there, I guess, where I didn't breathe completely because I didn't feel completely alone. And also, I think there was a huge sense of relief for me. I was not happy for a while.
Kristina [00:08:01]:
Yeah.
Lisa Shield [00:08:02]:
And so Diane got you to enroll in the program, and you didn't do it for a while. Cause you had a lot going on, but then you finally. You read attached, and you finally got into it. I don't know. Did you watch some of the Q and a calls? How did.
Kristina [00:08:20]:
Yes, I did. I did, and I love them. And there was one woman in particular that I can't remember her name now, but she lived in LA. She was, like, this fiery brunette. She had, like, curly hair. I forget her name, but I was super inspired by her. She had just started the course, but she always had a lot to say, every q and a, and I just really loved hearing her story and her questions. And I'm like, because I'm not very good at.
Kristina [00:08:52]:
Even in those Q and A, it's like I don't want to speak up for some reason. I don't know. I'm weird like that. But I really find myself, you know, being drawn to certain people and being like, yes, I have the same question. You know, so I was finding my, you know, my way through other people.
Lisa Shield [00:09:13]:
So you learned a lot, right, being on the calls, and you know, and hearing the other women's stories, and I think also just the quality of the women and realizing you see some sensational women who are your peers, of course, and you're thinking, wow, I'm not alone. What was that like for you?
Kristina [00:09:40]:
It was great. It's interesting because it's, like, runs the gamut of women. Right? A lot. I'm 44. Like, a lot of the women were older, and I really appreciated their stories, and I did find myself, like, really drawn to certain. Certain women where I just, you know, I thought they were adorable. And I'm like, oh, my God, you are so meeting your guy. So it just, for me, it was really nice to see all these different people from different parts of the country that were having kind of the same blocks and issues, you know, no matter what age they were or where they lived.
Kristina [00:10:26]:
And. And I, like, I loved seeing something in them, and I'm like, oh, like, you're. You're good. You're gonna be fine, you know, so. And I feel like it was an uplifting, you know, I feel like everyone uplifted each other, and, you know, and then also, the other thing is when people were telling, like, their dating stories and, like, red flag, like, it's so easy to say that when you hear someone, right? Yeah. But it needs to be heard in person, I think, in that capacity to just realize, like, that's, like, that's obvious to me, but it's not obviously to you, but it. Not you, but, like, that person at that time. I think it just made things more clear in that way because it was a real story, you know?
Lisa Shield [00:11:19]:
Yeah. And also, you mentioned that it was uplifting, which I think is so important for people to hear because a lot of women coming into the program think, oh, my gosh, am I going to go on those calls? And then everybody's going to be whining and complaining and telling their horror stories, and it isn't like that at all.
Kristina [00:11:40]:
Oh, it was. It was just. It was more people talking about their good dates and asking for advice, which was really fun to hear, you know.
Lisa Shield [00:11:51]:
And how to open up and how to connect and what to say and, you know, and dating higher caliber men. Did you experience that yourself, Kristina? Did you. Did you find that you started once you got your profile and all? Did you find.
Kristina [00:12:08]:
Oh, yeah. So when I took my first of all my pictures, like, that was a whole new level. I was hesitant about the idea of having professional pictures, but first of all, my photographer was amazing. And the pictures, I was like, holy shit, like, one of my pictures is my headshot for work. Like, I love those pictures. And I got so much positive feedback on those pictures. And then, so that was great. And then also, like, the feedback from Benjamin on my profile changed everything for me too.
Lisa Shield [00:12:44]:
Were you surprised that those things made such a difference?
Kristina [00:12:48]:
I was, and it did attract higher caliber men. It just did. It was.
Lisa Shield [00:12:54]:
They got it, right?
Kristina [00:12:55]:
Yeah, they got it.
Lisa Shield [00:12:57]:
Like, they really, it really can. They got it. And you would think that nobody reads the profiles and, you know, whatever.
Kristina [00:13:06]:
Right. But, but it made me realize, like, if you do a half ass answer, you're not serious. And so then I also started looking at men's profiles and being like, that's a half ass answer. Like, no, thanks. Yeah. Like, if they don't put the care in that, I do.
Lisa Shield [00:13:26]:
Right. And so you loved the calls, which is such a huge part of the program, and talk about the course itself. I know you admitted you didn't complete all the modules, which is okay. No judgment. I'm not.
Kristina [00:13:40]:
I know. Yeah. But I, again, I liked a lot of the questions that it asked of me. And I have my notebook. I don't know where it is right now, but it's like, I bought a notebook for high Ted. My dog is really up my butt right now. I wish I could find it. But it's like, I bought a notebook that says, fun things happen here, and I had all these little tabs, and I liked that I was able to organize my thoughts, I guess, a little bit and also answer questions that I hadn't really asked myself.
Lisa Shield [00:14:21]:
Yes, that's a big piece of it, right? Like these questions that you never, you know, nobody has ever said that, but that is so true. You just don't stop and think about, like, what kind of woman do I want to be and what is attractive behavior? And then, of course, there was the final thought. The relationship inventory in the final five. What about that? Was that a revelation for you?
Kristina [00:14:50]:
I can barely remember now. So it's funny because now that, I'm sorry, I'm going to bring it to relationship now, it's almost like I have to go back and be like, oh, he is the final five. But for me, it was like an emotionally open person, a, I don't even remember, but the final five was important. I didn't want a guy that was closed off. So again, open a, like, life of the party, but not in a, you know, life of the party way. More of just have, has a very outgoing, great personality, and that always thinks about me, which you didn't get, these.
Lisa Shield [00:15:39]:
Are all things you didn't have in your last relationship.
Kristina [00:15:42]:
And affectionate, like, affectionate. Oh, it feels like. It's so funny because my. Like I said, my last relationship, my boyfriend was not affectionate at all. And I remember I dated a couple guys before I met the guy I'm with now that were affectionate. I'm like, oh, my God. He holds my hand, and my friends are like, that's not abnormal. That's pretty freaking standard.
Kristina [00:16:08]:
And I'm like, I didn't have that with a guy that I was with for a really long time. I can't believe that that was something I allowed and then thought was super special. I mean, I'm glad. I think it's special. I think it is special. It's pretty, like, you know, it's a low bar if they're, you know.
Lisa Shield [00:16:28]:
So what was your most surprising or unexpected takeaway from the program?
Kristina [00:16:36]:
I think, honestly, I think it was how people are really easy to put in the category, honestly, and to, like, realize that that person that way, I'm this way. Like, it's not that difficult, it's not that complicated. Like, there are literally a couple different types of people, and they are that way, and they're going to be that way.
Lisa Shield [00:17:03]:
And you stay, you know, no matter how great they seem, you stay away from those people.
Kristina [00:17:09]:
Oh, my God.
Lisa Shield [00:17:10]:
And you give these other people a chance. And even if, you know, they don't, it's different. It's a different orchestration. It's a very different energy and all. But once you make that shift and you realize these guys are never going to change, and these guys are the ones that are going to hold your hand.
Kristina [00:17:34]:
Right.
Lisa Shield [00:17:35]:
Be affectionate.
Kristina [00:17:36]:
Yeah. And honestly, it made me feel way better about my past relationship where I was like, that's just who he was. I don't. That wasn't about me. That was him. All him. And that was a nice revelation, too. Like, it wasn't my fault, but it was him.
Kristina [00:17:54]:
Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty easy to see now. So.
Lisa Shield [00:18:00]:
What did you find most valuable about the support or the guidance that you got? Like, the coaching and the support and the, you know, so I.
Kristina [00:18:11]:
So I remember the coaching thing when I was talking about, again, this was a while ago. I mean, this was over a year ago that I had, you know, that I was doing this, but I remember, gosh, Rebecca. Rebecca saying to me, she was really making me look at the things that I wanted or was accepting and kind of asking me about my past and even, like, my childhood and where that came from. And so. And, I mean, it was basically like therapy, but the therapy that I wanted. Like, I want therapy to, like, think about that. But, like, I don't need to dive deeper. I just like that idea.
Kristina [00:19:04]:
And then let's recognize it and put it, you know, put it not to the test, but, you know, apply it.
Lisa Shield [00:19:12]:
So that was great, having the one on one coaching the one on one.
Kristina [00:19:17]:
And also, she asked me about my parents relationship, which I had not really thought about before. And it led me to then even ask my mom about, because my parents are divorced, but they got divorced after I was out of college. So, you know, they were. I was older, and she said my dad was not affectionate at all. Like, all these things that I really accepted, and she accepted. And so it was really interesting for me to realize that I was kind of emulating or, you know, I was getting some of that from my mom and their relationship, so.
Lisa Shield [00:19:59]:
So you met your guy. How quickly, like, at what point was it after you were done with the program that you met him?
Kristina [00:20:07]:
Yes, and it was a while after, but I met him on Bumble, and he was. I mean, it's funny because I was doing, like, Diane, and I talked about I was doing, you know, I was. I was putting in the work. I was going on a lot of dates, even with people that I was like, eh, maybe. And I would go on dates with them, and I'm like, definitely not. But I did go on a couple of great dates. And this guy, my boyfriend now, Jesse, he. I don't know.
Kristina [00:20:43]:
I don't know. There was something about him. I don't know how to explain it. But we. I mean, can I go into all that?
Lisa Shield [00:20:50]:
We.
Kristina [00:20:50]:
Yeah, of course. We were. We talked a bit on, you know, on Bumble, and it didn't show his location or anything or where he lived. And I was a little bit weary. I was like, is he, like, you know, I don't know, being untruthful or something, you know? So anyways, we were gonna go on a date, and I just felt off about it. So I said, like, can I get your number? And we, like, just talk before. So we ended up texting this one night, I actually canceled our date, and I was like, can we just talk instead? And so we ended up just chatting all night about different things, and I felt like I got to know him a little better. And so I'm like, okay, now I'm sold.
Kristina [00:21:35]:
Like, all right. So then I went out with him on, you know, one night, and honestly, our first two dates, he was over the top energy. Like, I'm over the top energy, too. But he was like, more. And I was not attracted to him, but he was such a gentleman. So our first date was fun. We went, he came to the city. He lives in San Rafael, which is about 25 minutes from where I live.
Kristina [00:22:05]:
So he drove in, and we went out to this restaurant and had drinks, but we decided to get food, too, and it was great. And then he's like, oh, do you want to go out again in a couple days? So we went out again, and he. He's like, I'll just pick you up and you can tell me what you feel like eating when I get there. So I come out of my house and I see him. He's, like, parked right in front of my house. He jumps out of his door, and to open the door for me, and I was like, that is incredibly sweet. And he's like, what do you feel like? I was like, I don't know. Sushi? He's like, done.
Kristina [00:22:37]:
We go to the sushi restaurant. He orders off the menu. He's like, this just, he's like a man. Like a tape charge. But I also said, like, I don't care what we eat. Like, go ahead. He was like, oh, I got it. So we did that, and I really appreciated that.
Kristina [00:22:53]:
And he didn't try to even kiss me or anything, you know? And like, he's like, oh, after we had dinner, he's like, oh, do you want to go for another drink? I was like, I mean, I don't really. I don't think so. It's like a Tuesday. I'm going to go home. Drove me home. We sat in the car for, like, another half hour and just chatted and. But then. But I still wasn't, like, excited about him.
Kristina [00:23:17]:
Like, I wasn't like, oh, my God, I met a guy. Like, I'm so excited. Cause I wasn't, didn't feel that attracted to him for some reason, but. So then it was Christmas time at this point, so we went for a month just texting because it, like, he was out of town, it was holidays, whatever. And I was like, I kind of hope he never texts me again, like, because I don't, I don't, I don't know. I just wasn't that into it. And then he did, and so I was like, sure, I'll go out with you again. And he showed up and he brought me flowers, and we had talked about having espresso martinis, and he brought me espresso martini glasses, and, like, all the things to make it.
Kristina [00:23:59]:
And we went out to dinner, and that night, I was actually attracted to him. And ever since then, I was like, oh, I really want him to call me again. And he did always, you know, he never left. Like, kept me waiting. He would text me right after our dates, and.
Lisa Shield [00:24:16]:
Yeah, that's amazing, christina. And Diane told me, she said, lisa, it was just like you said she wasn't into him. Just like you talk about in the course. Nice guy, no chemistry, didn't want to see him again. And I was like, go, go, go. This is what Lisa tells you, right?
Kristina [00:24:36]:
And I had something in my mind that said, go again. Like, don't not go. You know? Like, there's nothing wrong with this guy. I'm just, like, not excited. But then day three after that, I was excited.
Lisa Shield [00:24:48]:
I'm like, then, Kristina, how long has it been?
Kristina [00:24:51]:
So we. So, it was so December, January, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, September. I mean, it's been nine months. Whoa. Yay. Yeah.
Lisa Shield [00:25:04]:
And so what's the plan? Are you moving in together? Are you looking?
Kristina [00:25:08]:
It's so interesting. So he has a really beautiful home, like, outside of the city. I spend at least. I mean, I spend every weekend at his house, and sometimes, like, he was sick a couple weeks ago, and I spent the entire week with him. And, I mean, and for the first time in my entire life, I don't want to leave. Like, I usually love my space and my, you know, I'm 44 and been single forever. I always, like, I'm, like, always ready to, like, get out of there and, like, have my own time, and I'm like, I don't need that. Like, I just.
Kristina [00:25:42]:
We relax well together. We do everything well together. So are we going to move in together? Probably, but I, you know, I'm not in a rush. It's.
Lisa Shield [00:25:51]:
Yeah.
Kristina [00:25:51]:
Honestly, I'm not because I also like the missing each other aspect, and we do. I mean, yesterday when I was leaving, because I spent the weekend with him, as usual, and we were. I spent, you know, Sunday night with him and Monday, and I had work, and he was going to work, and. And he was like, well, I miss you already. Like, me, too. Like, so I don't, like, you know, I kind of love that phase for now.
Lisa Shield [00:26:20]:
It sounds to me, christina, like, what happened? You came out of this breakup, you did the program, and it really gave you the missing pieces that, how to really move forward in a whole new way. Would you agree with that?
Kristina [00:26:38]:
Absolutely. Absolutely. And the things that I needed to pay attention to, you know, when dating and the things that I needed to, like, pay attention to in a good way, too, like, good and bad. So, for example, me saying he's such a gentleman, I want to go out with him again is something to pay attention to that I might not have before because I'm, like, not attracted. Like, no. You know, like, not gonna. But I really. I paid attention to the other aspect, which was how kind and great and gentlemanly he was, you know, which might.
Lisa Shield [00:27:16]:
Have alluded, you know, which you might have discarded or not.
Kristina [00:27:19]:
That's what I mean. Yeah.
Lisa Shield [00:27:20]:
Yeah. You wouldn't have necessarily gone out with him again.
Kristina [00:27:23]:
Yeah.
Lisa Shield [00:27:24]:
Missed the best thing. Yeah, probably that.
Kristina [00:27:28]:
I mean, I think about it all the time. It was. I almost didn't, I almost didn't go out with him again. And it's like, the way. I mean, the incredible we are together, I just. I'm so thankful that I went out with him again, you know?
Lisa Shield [00:27:45]:
Do you feel like you really are one of the luckiest women on my plan?
Kristina [00:27:49]:
I feel like the luckiest. I mean, he's the best guy I've ever met, and he fulfills every fantasy I've ever had about how a guy treats you and how, like. And. And, like, how a person can be so open with conversations, and he'll even point out things that I'm gonna say this in a way that's not mean. He's, like, things that even annoy him about me, you know? But we talk about it all, and he's like, I don't want you to think that this is, like, a, like, a judgment on you or anything. He's like, I just want you to, like, I say my mind, so, like, I just want you to know, like, this is, this is what I'm thinking. Like, whoa. You're fucking nuts right now.
Kristina [00:28:31]:
But he, he's so open. Yeah. He's, he's my dream. He's my dream.
Lisa Shield [00:28:38]:
And he probably, even though he's given, you know, telling you something, he says it with love, and you have so much safety and trust in the relationship.
Kristina [00:28:45]:
He says those words. He says that. He's like, I hope that I'm saying this in a safe place and we can be like, he said, he says those words. I'm like, geez. I mean, he's more evolved than I am. I feel like he's taken the course.
Lisa Shield [00:29:01]:
Kristina, I know that. I can hear how this changed your life. If a woman was on the fence, I know it. You know, for some people, they say it's a big investment. I think you'd look back and say to yourself, yeah, it was. But this is like a no brainer, right?
Kristina [00:29:18]:
It's a no brainer. And honestly, it's not like it's so easy to spend money. So how about spend it in a smart way? You know, it's, you know, it's just. It's easy to invest in random things or. Or throw a lot of, like, small amounts at, you know, nothing or you can invest in yourself. And I think it was absolutely worthwhile. Like, day one, I thought it was worthwhile. It just was.
Lisa Shield [00:29:50]:
And of all the investments you've ever made in your entire life, where would you put this one up there?
Kristina [00:29:58]:
I mean, like, I don't really make a lot of investment. So up there, like, you know, up top three.
Lisa Shield [00:30:05]:
Yeah. I've heard it said that the best investment you can ever make is in yourself.
Kristina [00:30:11]:
And that's the thing, because when you actually invest in yourself with actual money, you are going to take care for it and think about it and invest yourself in it.
Lisa Shield [00:30:30]:
Yeah. And it's a big. It's a real reality check. Like, if I am going to invest this money, am I going to show up? Am I going to take this seriously? Is this really important? If this is important to me and it matters, then I should invest in this, because it changes your life. And the funniest thing, if you think about it, let's just say you took that money and you put it into the stock market. Let's just say, right? You'd have more money. You got a guy, he's got a house, got money, income. He's got, you know, what do you get for your investment? You got way more than you would have gotten if you had put it in stock.
Kristina [00:31:19]:
I mean, I can't even imagine my life without him now. And it's like my weekends, which were so boring before, you know, because I'm. I don't have a ton of friends that are just, like, hanging out, like, oh, let's go get together. Like, I. But, yes, so it was worth the investment. And it's, you know, it is an investment in your future, but it's, again, hearing other women's stories and being invested because you spent money on something is something true and real, and you're gonna pay a lot more attention to it. And, you know, I've, like, randomly signed up for things on Instagram that, like, were like, $20, whatever, and I forgot I did that. You're not going to forget, right?
Lisa Shield [00:32:09]:
You're not going to forget that you invested in this. And the other thing I was going to say is, you could never have figured this out on your own. Like, you may have found a guy, but the quality of the relationship, the quality of how you show up in a relationship changes dramatically. Would you agree?
Kristina [00:32:32]:
Absolutely. Absolutely. And, I mean, I was, you know, I never asked questions of guys before, and I never stood my ground on certain things. And I felt comfortable enough doing that because I'm like, I'm not gonna, you know, I'm not gonna waste my time.
Lisa Shield [00:32:50]:
Yeah.
Kristina [00:32:50]:
Anymore. So. And I was lucky enough to find a guy that is as, like, openly emotional and all that. So it was. But I definitely dated other guys that I asked the questions up, too, and they weren't right. Whatever, you know?
Lisa Shield [00:33:06]:
But, you know, water seeks its own level, you know? So by doing this work, you elevated your own self so that you could attract a man like him. I don't know about you. I know for myself, I wouldn't have been ready for my husband if he had gone, if I had gone on a date with him. And in some ways, you weren't ready for Jesse. It took you a minute to really stop and really get who he is. Right. Because you almost missed that. And that's the problem.
Lisa Shield [00:33:42]:
You had Diane saying, you bet, go out with him. Go out with him. This is what Lisa said. Right. And you had the course or something in the back of your mind saying, to do this. But you may have missed a, the best thing that ever happened to you.
Kristina [00:33:56]:
I think about it all the time because in my old self, yeah. You know, before the course, I definitely would have missed this guy.
Lisa Shield [00:34:07]:
Oh, well, Kristina, I am so grateful to you for coming on. I am so happy that you met your guy, not only because it's you, but also because of Diane and your family. And so, you know, it's, we, we are so thrilled for you. You are hero, honey. You are her hero. She just talks about you all the time.
Kristina [00:34:35]:
She does. This picture behind me is from her porch at her house.
Lisa Shield [00:34:42]:
Oh, my gosh. I can't visit her. I'm so excited.
Kristina [00:34:46]:
Yeah. So anyways, she, again, I'm really thankful. Thank you. And it's good to, you know, connect with you as well. And I'm over the moon. I mean, I, like, I, you know, he's like, dream, dream, dream. Like, what in the world this guy exists? Like. And it's funny, I was thinking about it last night, and I was telling Diane, the guardian of your soul thing, which it's kind of almost like funny to think about, but this past weekend, we.
Kristina [00:35:19]:
He took me to his, his friend's five year old daughter's birthday party, and we had a great time. And then we had, like, the after party at our. At his house, and I was outside, like, pretty cold, and there was a heat lamp. Whatever. He. He was not even near me. He came out, he pulled my chair up to the heat lamp. He, like, made a table for me to make me more in the crowd and just, like, made sure I was perfectly comfortable.
Kristina [00:35:47]:
And I'm like, I didn't. Like, this guy is guardian of myself.
Lisa Shield [00:35:52]:
Oh, honey. And clearly, you're the guardian of his soul, and you radiate love, and I'm so happy. Nothing brings me greater joy, you know, to. I have that with my husband. But to think that we can replicate that, right?
Kristina [00:36:13]:
I think we can find that.
Lisa Shield [00:36:15]:
Yeah, I think that is possible. You know, I definitely didn't. Kristina, if all we do is give people hope, if all Benjamin and I do is just show people that two people can just have this extraordinary love, I mean, this is the meaning of life. Everything else. Everything else pales.
Kristina [00:36:37]:
I agree. I agree.
Lisa Shield [00:36:39]:
Right?
Kristina [00:36:39]:
I agree. It's so nice. It's. I never. I honestly never thought I would find it. I just. I was like, okay. Everything else in my life is awesome.
Kristina [00:36:47]:
I have an awesome family, great job. I'll be okay. But now I'm like, no, I wasn't. Okay. It's way better this way. And like you said, it's way better for him, too. You know, he appreciates me. I know as much as I appreciate him, so it's nice.
Lisa Shield [00:37:05]:
Oh, well, Kristina, thank you. Thank you. Thank you, honey, I wish you a lifetime of health and happiness and. Yeah. And I hope we get to meet one day. You are so amazing. You're everything Diane told me and more. I see why she loves you.
Lisa Shield [00:37:23]:
So thank you, and please give our love to. Give my love to Jessie.
Kristina [00:37:28]:
I will. I will. And maybe I'll bring him on. I mean, he'd be down. I just, like, wasn't ready to.
Lisa Shield [00:37:33]:
We'll do it. We'll do it again. We'll do it next time. Okay.
Kristina [00:37:37]:
All right.
Lisa Shield [00:37:39]:
Lots of love to you and Ted. And, yeah, Ted's ready for me to.
Kristina [00:37:43]:
Take him out again.
Lisa Shield [00:37:45]:
Oh, well, go enjoy the little rest of your sunlight there. And thank you for doing all right.
Kristina [00:37:52]:
Thank you. This was wonderful.
Lisa Shield [00:37:54]:
It was my pleasure. Thank you, honey. Bye.