Today on 'Finding the Guardian of Your Soul,' Lisa and Benjamin Shield dive into the heart of what a quality man seeks in a lifelong partner. Discover the significance of showing support for his dreams, even those that seem out of reach, and why gratitude for his masculine efforts can boost a relationship's strength. The hosts explore how too much independence might create distance, emphasizing the necessity of mutual need and appreciation in forming a substantial partnership.
Welcome to another enlightening episode of "Finding the Guardian of Your Soul." Today, your hosts Lisa and Benjamin Shield dive into the topic of what a quality man looks for in a life partner. In this episode, we explore the essential ingredients of a relationship from the male perspective. Benjamin shares insightful details about the desires for kindness, playfulness, and a genuine connection. He stresses the importance of not just being nice, but being kind—highlighting how this creates a nurturing environment for both partners.
Lisa discusses the power of supporting a partner's dreams and how essential it is for creating a deep bond. She underscores the significance of making a man feel appreciated and valued, pointing out that independence in a relationship should be balanced with interdependence to avoid making the man feel unnecessary.
We'll also hear personal anecdotes from the hosts and a success story from their mastermind program, emphasizing the benefits of kindness, compassion, and emotional support from early dating experiences to more established relationships.
Join Lisa and Benjamin as they unravel the curiosities of masculine desires and preferences, offering guidance and insights designed to help you build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. And don't forget, Lisa invites all listeners to learn more about her emotionally naked dating course available at lisashield.com. Stay tuned for a heartfelt discussion on how to be the partner a quality man seeks.
Lisa Shield [00:00:00]:
Hi, I'm Lisa Shield.
Benjamin Shield [00:00:02]:
And I'm Benjamin Shield.
Lisa Shield [00:00:03]:
Welcome to getting inside the right male mind. I am the founder of end, a six month course where we teach you how to find the guardian of your soul. This course doesn't just teach you how to find any guy. It teaches you how to find the guy. The one who sees you, supports your soul's journey, and does everything in his power to help you fulfill your dreams. So today we are doing a very special episode of this broadcast, and this is where I get inside the right male mind, the mind of this guy over here. It's not often that as women, we are privy to the thoughts of truly great men. Men who are kind and emotionally available, who are successful, who are masculine.
Lisa Shield [00:00:58]:
And so I wanted to share my husband with all of you, because for 22 years now, I have had the gift of this beautiful male mind. And I know what a rare thing this is to find in the world. So, babe, thanks for being here.
Benjamin Shield [00:01:18]:
You're welcome.
Lisa Shield [00:01:19]:
Yeah, my pleasure. Thank you. And what's today's topic?
Benjamin Shield [00:01:23]:
Today's topic is what men look for in a future partner.
Lisa Shield [00:01:27]:
And I think this is so fascinating because women really want to know from a great guy, like, what can I do to capture the heart of a man like you? And what should I not be doing as well? So I think it would be great to talk about both sides of this.
Benjamin Shield [00:01:45]:
Great. Great.
Lisa Shield [00:01:47]:
So let's start with the first one.
Benjamin Shield [00:01:49]:
Well, I think there are many things, but I think, first and foremost, a man wants a woman. He wants to find kindness because he's going to spend the rest of his years with someone. And they want it to be based in kindness, in caring for each other, in love, and also in playfulness, in having fun. In my own personal experience, I've been with, you know, I'm 71 years now. So I've been with, you know, I've had experience and I've been with some beautiful women who just haven't been fun. And I lost interest, you know, or haven't been kind. And it ended quickly. So those are the things that, first and foremost, when I think about spending the rest of my years with someone, and I found someone who is incredibly kind and very playful and we have fun.
Lisa Shield [00:02:53]:
Yeah, we do have fun. I was thinking, as you were talking about kindness, and I was thinking, so men really don't love bitches.
Benjamin Shield [00:03:04]:
No. No. And they may be sexually attracted to them for the first night or two or three, but after that, he's trying to please her. He's trying to. He loses himself. And what a man wants is to be able to be with a woman that he not only could be himself, but she promotes his dreams and his goals. And, you know, a bitch doesn't fit that definition well.
Lisa Shield [00:03:40]:
And also, can you explain to the women that are listening if a woman is a bitch or she's emotionally volatile, she's not kind, she's got a lot of sharp edges. How does that feel for a man?
Benjamin Shield [00:03:55]:
Well, first, it's demeaning. You know, it doesn't bring out a man's masculinity. And being a bitch isn't being feminine, it's being more masculine.
Lisa Shield [00:04:06]:
Right. Right. And it's manipulative. I mean, I even think that that book and the title, I think inside of any book is probably some good information. But the way it sets it up, just with that title suggesting, even in humor, that that would be what men are looking for. I think the ways that so many women would misconstrue that, it sounds like a game, because even if they're just saying in a joking way or a playful way to be a bitch, there's nothing positive about that.
Benjamin Shield [00:04:42]:
Well, I think the book is geared towards how to get the guy, how to manipulate him. Yeah. And if you extrapolate that for the next 30, 40 years, you know, a man does not want to be living with a bitch. You know, he wants to be living with a kind, loving, supportive, fun woman.
Lisa Shield [00:05:06]:
So a lot of women think, babe, that they have to be, like a bitch or play hard to get to grab a man's attention. And if they're too nice, if they're too kind, then a man will find them boring and not a challenge.
Benjamin Shield [00:05:25]:
A grown man, a real man, a masculine man, is looking for someone who's really looking for a partner. A life partner is looking for kindness, but someone who's not going out of her comfort level to be kind or who's too nice.
Lisa Shield [00:05:46]:
I mean, there's a difference between being nice and kind.
Benjamin Shield [00:05:48]:
Absolutely.
Lisa Shield [00:05:50]:
And what is that difference?
Benjamin Shield [00:05:51]:
Well, being kind is something internal that is just part of the matrix of a person. Being nice is often a performance.
Lisa Shield [00:06:02]:
Yeah. Like you're being nice, but you're expecting something in return.
Benjamin Shield [00:06:07]:
Exactly. Or you're really trying to create a Persona that you're. And that no one is going to come after you because you're so nice.
Lisa Shield [00:06:19]:
Yeah, but then people just walk all.
Benjamin Shield [00:06:21]:
Over those people, or they either walk all over you or they walk away because it gets very tiring. Because when you see a person isn't really who they are and their true essence. And you're trying to reach in, you're trying to search for that person, and you can't find them because they're performing so much with being nice, it loses interest.
Lisa Shield [00:06:44]:
And can I ask you as a man, you're on a date with a woman and you're watching. Would you say that you are present, like you're really watching on a date to see, is this woman kind? Does she have a kind heart? Would you be paying attention to that?
Benjamin Shield [00:07:04]:
Yes. And I think there's a difference between watching and feeling. And so you can feel kindness, right? So it's not that, you know, one has a clipboard and is saying, she's being kind, she's being nice, but it's a feeling. And being kind brings out a playfulness, because being kind, when two people are kind to each other, it develops trust and safety. Playfulness is based on trust and safety, just like trust and safety can be based on playfulness.
Lisa Shield [00:07:40]:
Well, before we go deeper into playfulness, I wanted to ask you, would you say that kindness can be also equated to generosity of spirit?
Benjamin Shield [00:07:55]:
Oh, definitely. Definitely. And with generosity of spirit, it goes into a man feeling that his world is going to be bigger because she's in it, not smaller. So when there's someone with a generosity of spirit that we've had for each other over all these years, that our lives are so much bigger because we've met each other, because we're in each other's lives. And I think a lot of men, most men, all men, fear that if they get in relationship with the wrong woman, their lives will be smaller. So kindness, generosity to spirit really promotes this sense of well being, that their lives are going to be bigger because of this person is in their lives.
Lisa Shield [00:08:48]:
We had a wonderful mastermind client who I love, who's now getting ready to move in with her boyfriend that she met in our program. And I remember her generosity of spirit when she went on her first date with this man. She didn't feel that they made a very deep emotional connection, which is what our course is about, emotionally naked dating. And I remember she came on a mastermind call, and her generosity of spirit was not to make him wrong. She said there was something lovely about him, and she felt that there was more there, and she wanted to know what she could do to get him to open up more and to bring him to a deeper place. And she was so sweet and then went on the next date and did all the things we said. But her generosity of spirit and her kindness not to just write him off and say, oh, no, it didn't go anywhere, you know, I'm one and done. She really wanted to open her heart to him and see if he would open his heart to her and look at where they are now.
Benjamin Shield [00:10:03]:
Yeah.
Lisa Shield [00:10:03]:
And we've met him.
Benjamin Shield [00:10:04]:
He's just wonderful.
Lisa Shield [00:10:06]:
Oh, wonderful.
Benjamin Shield [00:10:07]:
They were both so happy.
Lisa Shield [00:10:09]:
They are both so happy. It was really beautiful. And her deep desire to want to create that opening was so beautiful. My response when you were late on our first date, when you got lost, genuinely lost, and went into East LA and called the restaurant, and I so carefully, I was so careful to make you feel okay and to segue, because.
Benjamin Shield [00:10:40]:
I was, I was thinking if I was ready to throw, excuse me, to throw my mobile phone out the window, because back when there was really poor reception, it was flip tone, flip phone. And I was thinking, if anything becomes of this date, it's going to be a miracle. And I may have had a couple adjectives before that finally got a hold of the restaurant because the reception kept dropping the call. And I said, is there a woman who's been sitting there for the last 20 minutes or so by herself? And they said, yes. And they gave me the phone and I apologized and I said, I know where I am now. I missed the turn off, and there was a five point intersection, and I just missed the street. And what did you say?
Lisa Shield [00:11:37]:
I said, don't worry. I said, are you okay? Is everything okay? And you said, yes. And I said, please take your time. I'm just sitting here enjoying myself, and I'll be here when you get here.
Benjamin Shield [00:11:52]:
Yeah. Yeah. And that was the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Lisa Shield [00:11:57]:
Well, and I think something so important for our audience to know is that I, in the past, I had been very admonishing, very exacting with people. Where are you and when can you get here? And like that. And something I learned through the dating process was that every moment counts, especially in those very, very early dating experiences, probably more than anything, because there are so many nuances, so many little signals that can go awry. And so in those very early moments, it is so important to show your kindness, to show your compassion, to show your thoughtfulness to a man, just like we are listening intently, looking to find, you know, all those reasons to cut you off. I believe, you know, I think it would only be natural that men are doing the same thing. They're listening intently and they have their criteria and their reasons why they won't call a woman back again. So I was wanting to score some points.
Benjamin Shield [00:13:18]:
Right. And, you know, I just saw who you were at that moment, just with that brief interaction.
Lisa Shield [00:13:28]:
Yeah, yeah. Thank you. I'm so glad. So you brought up playfulness. A lot of women are so heavy and so serious, and they have deep equated with seriousness. I did that myself when I was younger. I thought that I was a deep person, and so going on a date with me would have been talking about a lot of very serious subjects and not a lot of laughter and playfulness.
Benjamin Shield [00:14:04]:
Yeah. And both things are called for in a great relationship. But mostly we want to have fun. We're here on the planet to be with a great partner and have fun with that partner and play and laugh and have deep conversations, have vibrant conversations also. But it's not mired in a lot of processing.
Lisa Shield [00:14:35]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And not a lot of deep. Just to be deep. Like, I remember we went out, you and I, once, with a couple that we know, and it was so much just intelligentsia, everything. The conversation was so up here. And even though this person was a therapist, one of the partners in the couple was a therapist, and you would think that she would have a lot of heart. But there was so much intellectualizing, you know, and it just. We both came away like that just wasn't fun.
Lisa Shield [00:15:22]:
And then we have a couple.
Benjamin Shield [00:15:23]:
Nor was it educating. No, it wasn't anything.
Lisa Shield [00:15:27]:
No. It was just trying to intellectualize, to sound smart about things, but there was no heart connection. And even with other couples, that's what we're looking for. Our closest and dearest friends are all heartbreaking. We laugh. They're sweet as can be. They're, you know, they're the two kindest people we know, and it's just fun to be with them. But I don't want to go out with another couple and feel like I'm reading the front page of the New York Times or the New York Times Book review.
Lisa Shield [00:16:05]:
It's just boring.
Benjamin Shield [00:16:06]:
Yeah.
Lisa Shield [00:16:08]:
And there can be some of that. It's not like we don't have serious conversations. I think our depth is there. It just is there. We don't have to reach too far for it. But so is our playfulness and humor. And one thing. One other thing I want to add is that I think that if anybody is really being, you know, if you really stop and think about it, it takes tremendous depth to have great humor.
Benjamin Shield [00:16:40]:
It's true.
Lisa Shield [00:16:40]:
They go hand in hand.
Benjamin Shield [00:16:41]:
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. So a man. One of the reasons a man searches for that special woman is that she brings out things in him that it can't happen with his male friends. When two guys are together, usually they're sitting on a barstool watching a sports game. But with a woman, he has the opportunity to open up. And so for a woman who encourages that and gives him space to open up, that is so important and knows.
Lisa Shield [00:17:25]:
How to help him do that. One of the ways we talk about a woman doing that is to ask about a man's dreams.
Benjamin Shield [00:17:33]:
Yes, yes. And the antithesis of that would be if a man had a dream, whether it was realistic or not. But it was his dream. It was the lighthouse that he sailed towards. And it may never happen, but he wants someone kind of there guiding him forward rather than pulling him back, rather than discouraging him.
Lisa Shield [00:18:01]:
Yeah. And I think that sometimes what will happen is a woman will go on a date and she'll. A man might start talking about his dream, and maybe he, you know, our good friend Randy was, he went to West Point, and then he was on Wall street. His dream was to go to Hollywood and be a writer and a performer, and he actually did do that. He did it. Now, I can only imagine what his wife at the time thought when he did that. But that was his dream. That was his calling.
Lisa Shield [00:18:43]:
And if anyone saw his wall full of awards, he writes music and, you know, and songs and has worked with Spielberg and all. But a woman on a date, hearing him be a Wall street trader and then hearing him talk about, oh, but my real dream is to go to Hollywood and work in the film industry or in the entertainment industry, you know, that would sink or swim that woman, because that really was his dream. And he's been wildly successful, so you just never know. I mean, I could imagine some women hearing that and just, like, their face falling and thinking, but you're working on Wall street. Why would you ever want to give that up and go to Hollywood? But men do have dreams. They may never act on them. They may just be that dreams. But even so, women have dreams, and we have things that we want to do, and we talk about them all the time.
Benjamin Shield [00:19:55]:
I had a client a few years back who dreamed of becoming a professional baseball player. Well, he became very successful in business, but he still loved the idea. And his wife bought him a large chunk of time at a baseball camp where he actually played with professional players. It was offseason, and it just showed how, even though he wasn't going to fulfill that dream, and chances were anyway, that, what were the odds? But it showed how much he supported his dreams.
Lisa Shield [00:20:34]:
Yeah. That's so sweet. I love that. And there's many ways to do that. But if you're on a date with a man and he begins to share his dreams and he sees that you're disinterested, that you start asking questions, well, why do you want to do that? And he sees a distasteful look on your face. What would that do to the man?
Benjamin Shield [00:21:01]:
Check, please.
Lisa Shield [00:21:04]:
And why would that be such a deal breaker?
Benjamin Shield [00:21:07]:
Well, because it would make his life smaller, even if it was unrealistic that he would ever achieve that particular dream to the extent that he was hoping to. That we all need dreams. We all need goals. It lights us up. It fuels us. And for someone to throw water on that fire, it's disheartening.
Lisa Shield [00:21:33]:
Well, and he would feel like a little boy, like, you know, a little boy.
Benjamin Shield [00:21:39]:
Controlled.
Lisa Shield [00:21:40]:
Yeah, controlled and not supported. And what, what man who respects himself would want to spend his life with a woman like that? I mean, that is so, that for a man is just for a quality man who respects himself, he would walk away. There would not be another date, right?
Benjamin Shield [00:22:05]:
Yeah.
Lisa Shield [00:22:06]:
Yeah. So what else? Let's do a few more.
Benjamin Shield [00:22:09]:
Well, I think it's important. When a man is looking for a future partner, he wants to feel masculine, and he wants a woman in her feminine. And if she's in her feminine, it allows him to be masculine and vice versa. And being in her feminine means being grounded, being in her body and being appreciative and noticing and reflecting back the masculine things he does, even if it's just opening the car door for her or paying for the check, which he may do every time they go out to dinner. But she's appreciative every time. It makes a man feel great.
Lisa Shield [00:22:54]:
And it also shows that she's receptive because she's receiving these gifts that he's offering and she's acknowledging through her appreciation all the things he's doing for her, which makes him feel like a man.
Benjamin Shield [00:23:11]:
I often say the best word in the English language is gratitude, and the worst word in the english language is entitlement.
Lisa Shield [00:23:22]:
Well, and I even thank you to this day, when we go to dinner, even though we, you know, we share everything, right? I still say thank you even just because you called for the check and you paid for it, because it's so sweet and it's still under. It still feels like you're taking care of me. And I love that. I love that feeling. You know, women, so many women today do not need a man to provide for them financially. But it is so important. It's even more important because of that, that we express our gratitude for a man and we make him feel like there are things that he can do for us, that the things he is doing are appreciated and acknowledged. If a woman didn't do that, what would that do?
Benjamin Shield [00:24:22]:
Well, a man would stop trying, you know? I mean, you could chase something. A man needs, the appreciation needs to feel that his masculinity is appreciated. And he'll keep chasing it until he won't. And then he'll begin to distance himself, and that can be the beginning of the end.
Lisa Shield [00:24:46]:
Well, and he'll feel, I think, like, you know, for a while, he'll feel like he's trying to prove himself to her constantly. And then any, again, self respecting man would say, look, I don't feel like you need a man in your life. I can't make you happy. And he feels impotent. Yeah. So it's a terrible thing. And it's something. If a man notices that a woman is too independent and too self sufficient, he'll walk away.
Benjamin Shield [00:25:23]:
Yeah. And independent is a key word because a man wants to fit into a woman's life and he wants to feel needed. And if a woman presents herself as independent or too independent. Too independent.
Lisa Shield [00:25:40]:
Right. Because independence is a wonderful thing.
Benjamin Shield [00:25:42]:
It's a good thing. But when it's the foremost thing that someone presents in a relationship, she leads with that. Yeah. That a man is constantly trying to. To. Where do I fit in? How do I fit in? And a man doesn't want to live someone else's dream. And a woman doesn't want to live someone else's dream. So if a woman has her life so together, which is a positive thing, but so filled that he has to find a way to kind of make his world smaller, to fit into her world, then it's toxic.
Lisa Shield [00:26:18]:
Or even if there just isn't room.
Benjamin Shield [00:26:21]:
Yeah.
Lisa Shield [00:26:21]:
And appreciation and excitement. I mean, I need you. I don't know what I'd do without you. And any facade that I may have put on when I was younger was a lie. Because there are things that you give me that you do as a man in this relationship. The counsel that you give to me, the support, emotional support that you give to me, the financial support you've given to me at times has been life changing. You know, the fun that we have, the laughter, the friendship, the. I could go on and on and on.
Lisa Shield [00:27:03]:
And most of all, how you make me feel like a woman. I mean, I have never felt so feminine and beautiful in my life as I do with you and so much, you know, that's all because of you. You bring that out in me, and I want to be those things for you. So, yeah, I need, you know, women need men. You know, it doesn't. It's, you know, money is such a. Financial support is such a small part of that. But if you sense that a woman was so independent, would you pursue her?
Benjamin Shield [00:27:41]:
No, I wouldn't. I once dated, years ago, someone very famous in the music industry, and her world was so complete in that, that I would be an accessory. And no man wants to be an accessory.
Lisa Shield [00:28:03]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I wouldn't, you know, any feminine woman wouldn't want to make her man an accessory. So that's also a woman who's genuinely in touch with her feminine, wants to make that man feel like a man. All right, let's do one more.
Benjamin Shield [00:28:27]:
Well, I think that. And there are so many other things, but what a man needs is knowing that he could have space when he needs it. That when you and I were together, by the first year, I said, go out and find us a house. And you did. And my main concern was I'd been a bachelor for a while, and I was used to having my own space, and I was afraid, oh, my gosh, do I have to be? No matter how much I love this person, am I going to have that space to be able to catch up with the day and let the day catch up with me? And so you outfitted my treatment room with cable television, with a microwave, with a refrigerator. Excuse me. And because I knew I could have that space, I didn't use any of it. We got rid of it.
Benjamin Shield [00:29:31]:
And to this day, if I need space first, you will sense it. And I rarely have to even ask for it. At the end of the day, if I'm just at the kitchen sink, eating something, staring out the window, you'll take one look and do an about face, and you'll realize he needs space. But if you didn't, or if a woman didn't, it would feel suffocating, like, oh, if I could just have some time to myself. And when a woman gives that time, it's gold. It's purely gold. And it's never on my part. It's never, ever unappreciated, ever.
Lisa Shield [00:30:12]:
Well, and what I realized was that you felt like you had to take physical space from women because they couldn't give you mental and emotional space. And I knew that, like, that was something I knew. I knew that if something, if you were exhausted or you were drained from the day. It wasn't that you wanted space from me. It's that you needed space, mentally and emotionally just to be with yourself. And that once you could have that, you would totally be right there with me. In fact, you are so generous with your time, with yourself and your time. And I know that there are times where you're exhausted, you've been working, you're just not feeling great.
Lisa Shield [00:31:09]:
And you will come in here and say, hey, let's go to dinner or let's go grab a drink or something just because, you know, I've been working hard or you feel like maybe I should get out of the house. So I see that and I know, but I think most women don't understand that a man needs space. They don't. You know, we process by talking and that's how we process, that's how we connect. But men don't have as many words. They don't have the same bandwidth for communication and conversation. And that's just a difference between men and women. And I think to some degree or other, it's all men and all women.
Lisa Shield [00:32:02]:
It doesn't matter. There are men who love to talk and are very chatty and will sit there and talk with women in process. Maybe they grew up with sisters or, you know, a single mom. But I really do think that in a true man's nature, he needs time. Just, he doesn't. Not even, you know, almost to not have to think.
Benjamin Shield [00:32:24]:
Yeah. As I put it, taking the time to let the day catch up with me and for me to catch up with the day.
Lisa Shield [00:32:33]:
Yeah. And it's why some men just sit and zone out in front of a football game or a basketball game, you know, because they can just sit there and watch guys running around, you know, a court and not have to think.
Benjamin Shield [00:32:47]:
And just follow the ball.
Lisa Shield [00:32:48]:
Yeah. And scream, you know, yell when they make a point. But there's nothing. There's nothing, you know, too intellectual going on in their brains. Most of them are just watching the plays.
Benjamin Shield [00:33:02]:
Yeah. And in the background, there probably is something going on that needs that. That spacious time.
Lisa Shield [00:33:10]:
Yeah, probably. It's interesting. And if you met a woman, honey, who was so insecure, let's just say you had to change a date and you were exhausted or you just were not genuinely not feeling well and a woman gave you a hard time, oh, it would be.
Benjamin Shield [00:33:34]:
It would be, if not a red flag, an orange flag. Because I want a woman who can say, oh, I can see that you're exhausted. How can I support you? And I would do the same for the woman, right?
Lisa Shield [00:33:52]:
Yeah. And if she didn't, you would certainly take a step back.
Benjamin Shield [00:33:58]:
Oh, absolutely.
Lisa Shield [00:33:59]:
And if it happened more than once.
Benjamin Shield [00:34:03]:
Gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.
Lisa Shield [00:34:06]:
Yeah. And I don't think most women realize that these things for men are deal breakers.
Benjamin Shield [00:34:15]:
Yeah. And I think for a woman, she may think, well, he's unreliable. We made plans and not taking in the. They count the humanity that we're people. We have lives. We have a certain amount of stress and rest and all of these and obligations. And there are times where people have to accommodate. And not just accommodate, but support.
Benjamin Shield [00:34:44]:
It's not just accommodating for a man to know that. Wow, I really hear that you're tired. How can I support you during this time? Yes. And dinner is not as important as you getting rest. Is there anything that I could do for you? Gold. The bars line up on the slot machine. Silver doll, you start coming out.
Lisa Shield [00:35:09]:
Wow. That's so beautiful. All right, so showing up in these ways will gain a woman real points with a man if she can do these things and not doing them are surefire dealbreakers. And if they happen more than once, that would be it. A man wouldn't call a woman back again, and they're watching for these things.
Benjamin Shield [00:35:39]:
And let's say that a woman does make an error and the guy just backs away. It's perfectly fine for the woman to reach out to the man and say, can I have a redo? I think I handled. I'd like to handle this differently. What are your thoughts?
Lisa Shield [00:36:02]:
Yeah, keep your side of the street clean and clean it up quickly. And a man, a real man, would actually respect that. He would. One of the things I always trusted inside myself was that if I ever did make a mistake, if I cleaned it up quickly, a man would actually respect me and think, wow, how wonderful that she actually gave this thought and that she looked at her behavior and was willing to come back and own it and clean it up. I thought that would make me look better and that would actually raise my esteem in a man's eyes.
Benjamin Shield [00:36:47]:
Yeah.
Lisa Shield [00:36:48]:
Yeah. All right, baby. Thank you so much. I appreciate this. Your wisdom is incredible. So, again, just to go over a few of these things, let's just review, like, mention the things that we talked about.
Benjamin Shield [00:37:03]:
Well, that a man is looking for a partner who is going to make his life bigger, that they'll make each other's lives bigger, that there's a certain amount, not a certain amount. There's a lot of playfulness and fun and laughter. And with that can come deep vibrant conversations, but deep vibrant conversations by themselves and processing is, oh, I don't even want to think what that looks like. A man is looking for a woman for a life partner that he could open up to her and she could encourage that in ways that we just don't do it with our guy friends. We could have a friend for the last 40 years and we don't open up to a friend like that as we could with a woman. So a man is looking for a woman who brings out a mans masculinity. And so often that happens when she is in her femininity and she shows respect and gratitude and he does the same for her. And that a woman knows how to give a man space.
Benjamin Shield [00:38:30]:
It becomes intuitive after a while and it just becomes this beautiful play of this internal gratitude that the man has that oh, you know, I don't have to perform, I don't have to be out of my comfort zone to have to be with someone right now. And so.
Lisa Shield [00:38:50]:
And she does all of that with kindness and appreciation and generosity of spirit. Beautiful. Thanks babe. Thank you so much for joining us. I'm Lisa Shield.
Benjamin Shield [00:39:03]:
And I'm Benjamin Shield.
Lisa Shield [00:39:04]:
And we want to thank you for listening. If you'd like additional information about my six month emotionally naked dating course and how we can help you find the guardian of your soul, please go to lisashield.com and click the button to watch my free webinar and then you can book a call with a member of my team at the end of that presentation. Also, join me for our other broadcast called finding the guardian of your soul. I actually do this on my own. And finally, our best topics come from listeners like you. So please write to podcasthield.com with all your suggestions for future broadcasts. Thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time.